“Darkness is My Friend”

A House Call From Chuck Baker; or Does Pa Sneak Some Morphine Home for Albert? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Darkness is My Friend” [sic] Airdate: January 21, 1980 Written by Vince R. Gutierrez Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When the Blind School is invaded by murderers, Mary, Laura, and PaContinue reading ““Darkness is My Friend””

The Halloween Dream

Son of Mustache Man!; or You Give Ugg a Bad Name (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Halloween Dream Airdate: October 29, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon EDITOR’S NOTE: Literally everything about this episode is offensive. (Well, almost.) SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In what’s regarded by many as the worst Little HouseContinue reading “The Halloween Dream”

“Someone Please Love Me”

She Want That Cookie Real Bad; or At Least She Doesn’t Have to Worry About Internet Brain Rot and AI (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Someone Please Love Me” [sic] Airdate: March 5, 1979 Written by Michael Landon Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In this Chuck-only episode, Charles ignites lust inContinue reading ““Someone Please Love Me””

The Hunters

Dead Horses are the Dead Horse of This Show; or Who Ordered a Michael Landon on the Rocks? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Hunters Airdate: December 20, 1976 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by Michael Landon EDITOR’S NOTE: Our family watched this episode before our interview with Melissa Gilbert, so if you haven’tContinue reading “The Hunters”

Fred

When You Assume, It Makes a Goat Out of U and Me; or Charge-in’ Charles (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Fred Airdate: November 29, 1976 Written by Robert Vincent Wright Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Everybody gets an ass-butt from a goat. And, Charles is naked. RECAP: We’ve a specialContinue reading “Fred”

The Race

Half This Episode is Fat-Shaming Twelve-Year-Olds (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Race Airdate: October 11, 1976 Written by John V. Hanrahan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie and Laura are the only two contestants in an annual Hero Township-wide horse race, if you can believe that. RECAP: Bummer ofContinue reading “The Race”

Bunny

Fucking Bunny, Man; or Would They Really Hang a Child on This Show? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Bunny Airdate: October 4, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Animal abuse escalates the Laura/Nellie war. RECAP: Fucking “Bunny,” man! All hands on deck, let’s do it! We open with aContinue reading “Bunny”

The Collection

The Murder of Mary Ingalls; or He’s Getting Ten Years of Songs Out of This One Episode (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Collection Airdate: September 27, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Aldi becomes the victim of kidnapping and identity theft when he encounters some unethicalContinue reading “The Collection”