To Live With Fear: Part One

Night Train to Rochester!; or The Betrayal of Ebenezer Sprague (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: To Live With Fear, Part One Airdate: February 14, 1977 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s the one where Mary gets kicked by the horse. RECAP: Mary Stories are always occasionsContinue reading “To Live With Fear: Part One”

I─── Kid

EDITOR’S WARNING (HE BEGAN DEFENSIVELY . . .) This recap features semi-fictional characters (at best) who use racist language in the context of a strongly anti-racist storyline and is rated 13+.    Grandpa Stokes is Not Alright; or Life Ain’t Easy for a Boy Named Spotted Eagle (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: I─── Kid Airdate:Continue reading “I─── Kid”

Little Women

Bonnets Expand Toward the Sun; or A Gelfling Alive? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Little Women Airdate: January 24, 1977 Written by Dale Eunson and B.W. Sandefur Story by Dale Eunson Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie organizes a scene from Little Women as a school play, but an actor’sContinue reading “Little Women”

“I’ll Ride the Wind”

“‘I’ll Break the Wind’”; or  How Good are You at Milking, Mary? (a recap by Will Kaiser) TITLE: “I’ll Ride the Wind” [sic] AIRDATE: January 10, 1977 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by William F. Claxton EDITOR’S WARNING: This recap is rated 13+ for more tasteless commentary than usual. Reader discretion is advised. (Even better,Continue reading ““I’ll Ride the Wind””

Blizzard

You Can Tell There’s Going to Be a Big Body Count in This One; or My Smurf is Coming Loose! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Blizzard Airdate: January 3, 1976 Written by Paul W. Cooper Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: On Christmas Eve, Miss Beadle finally snaps and attempts toContinue reading “Blizzard”

Fred

When You Assume, It Makes a Goat Out of U and Me; or Charge-in’ Charles (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Fred Airdate: November 29, 1976 Written by Robert Vincent Wright Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Everybody gets an ass-butt from a goat. And, Charles is naked. RECAP: We’ve a specialContinue reading “Fred”

Little Girl Lost

Caaaaarrriiiiiieeeeeeeee!; or She’s Fine, She Can Barely Speak, Same as Always (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Little Girl Lost Airdate: October 18, 1976 Written by Paul W. Cooper Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s the one where Carrie falls in the well. Meanwhile, Mr. Hanson battles an old enemy for theContinue reading “Little Girl Lost”

The Race

Half This Episode is Fat-Shaming Twelve-Year-Olds (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Race Airdate: October 11, 1976 Written by John V. Hanrahan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie and Laura are the only two contestants in an annual Hero Township-wide horse race, if you can believe that. RECAP: Bummer ofContinue reading “The Race”

Bunny

Fucking Bunny, Man; or Would They Really Hang a Child on This Show? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Bunny Airdate: October 4, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Animal abuse escalates the Laura/Nellie war. RECAP: Fucking “Bunny,” man! All hands on deck, let’s do it! We open with aContinue reading “Bunny”

Going Home

The High-Waisted Horny Hustle; or You’re the Main Character of the Show, You’re Not Going Anywhere (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Going Home Airdate: March 31, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Charles freaks when a tornado destroys his crops, but yet another Magical Old Man materializes to showContinue reading “Going Home”