To Live With Fear: Part One

Night Train to Rochester!; or The Betrayal of Ebenezer Sprague (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: To Live With Fear, Part One Airdate: February 14, 1977 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s the one where Mary gets kicked by the horse. RECAP: Mary Stories are always occasionsContinue reading “To Live With Fear: Part One”

Quarantine

A Nightmare in Elmsville; or How Many Poison-Ivy Pandemics Can One Town Bear? (a recap by Will Kaiser) TITLE: Quarantine AIRDATE: January 17, 1977 Written by John Hawkins Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Southwest Minnesota reels from a twin outbreak of mountain fever and poison ivy. RECAP: We watched this episode outContinue reading “Quarantine”

“I’ll Ride the Wind”

“‘I’ll Break the Wind’”; or  How Good are You at Milking, Mary? (a recap by Will Kaiser) TITLE: “I’ll Ride the Wind” [sic] AIRDATE: January 10, 1977 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by William F. Claxton EDITOR’S WARNING: This recap is rated 13+ for more tasteless commentary than usual. Reader discretion is advised. (Even better,Continue reading ““I’ll Ride the Wind””

Journey in the Spring, Part One

La La Lansford; or Can You Imagine CHARLES INGALLS is Your Fucking Brother? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Journey in the Spring, Part One Airdate: November 15, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: We meet Charles’s parents, and, like the good Little House characters they are, they immediately goContinue reading “Journey in the Spring, Part One”

The Collection

The Murder of Mary Ingalls; or He’s Getting Ten Years of Songs Out of This One Episode (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Collection Airdate: September 27, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Aldi becomes the victim of kidnapping and identity theft when he encounters some unethicalContinue reading “The Collection”

Soldier’s Return

Whip It Sad; or Six Degrees of Granville Whipple (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Soldier’s Return Airdate: March 24, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL:  Almost in time for Mother’s Day (and Fentanyl Awareness Day), we meet Mrs. Whipple’s son Granville, who loses his life toContinue reading “Soldier’s Return”

Troublemaker

Bye Bye Beadie; or Crab-Apple-pocalypse Now (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Troublemaker Airdate: February 25, 1976 Written by John Hawkins Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: After the Bead loses a no-confidence vote, a psychopath takes her place. RECAP: Well, after the momentum of “The Runaway Caboose,” our run of good storiesContinue reading “Troublemaker”

The Pride of Walnut Grove

The Crochet One; or Is This Rated Thirteen-Plus Because Charles Has Sex With Mrs. Whipple? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Pride of Walnut Grove Airdate: January 28, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Mary is sent to a math competition in Minneapolis, where she experiencesContinue reading “The Pride of Walnut Grove”

Money Crop

A Harvest of Fudge; or Corn Will Be the Biggest Thing to Hit Walnut Grove Since Typhus! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Money Crop Airdate: February 19, 1975 Written by Ward Hawkins Story by John Meston Directed by Leo Penn SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Everybody in town turns into an asshole when a niceContinue reading “Money Crop”

If I Should Wake Before I Die

The Soul of Patience; or, Go Tell Miss Amy Her Old Gray Roommate’s Dead (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: If I Should Wake Before I Die Airdate: October 23, 1974 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: An insane old woman fakes her death to drive her children crazy.Continue reading “If I Should Wake Before I Die”