A New Beginning

The Good, The Bad and The Boring; or It’s Season Seven, We’re Running Out of Material (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: A New Beginning Airdate: October 6, 1980 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Jonathan Garvey moves to Sleepy Eye, becomes a policeman, and solves aContinue reading “A New Beginning”

“Laura Ingalls Wilder” (Part Two)

“Goodbye Harve”; or At Least They Gave Her a Good Fucking Story to Go Out With (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Laura Ingalls Wilder” [sic] (Part Two) Airdate: September 29, 1980 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Harve reveals he loves someone else, so Eliza Jane goes insane and tellsContinue reading ““Laura Ingalls Wilder” (Part Two)”

The Angry Heart

Yes, Virginia, Our Grandson is an Asshole; or Hester-Sue Would Rock the Shit Out of This Song (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Angry Heart Airdate: December 17, 1979 Written by Del Reisman Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Therapy Charles has to cure a guy who’s addicted to beating up hisContinue reading “The Angry Heart”

“Author! Author!”

I Call Cash On the Bullshit; or “Awful! Awful!” (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Author! Author!” [sic] Airdate: November 26, 1979 Written by Carole and Michael Raschella Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In a shocking twist, Grandma Holbrook suddenly dies! Then, in a boring twist, Charles helps her husband publishContinue reading ““Author! Author!””

The Halloween Dream

Son of Mustache Man!; or You Give Ugg a Bad Name (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Halloween Dream Airdate: October 29, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon EDITOR’S NOTE: Literally everything about this episode is offensive. (Well, almost.) SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In what’s regarded by many as the worst Little HouseContinue reading “The Halloween Dream”

The Family Tree

Pin a Heart-Shaped Apron to Your Boobs, You’re Sure to Get a Husband; or Walnut Steamy? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Family Tree Airdate: October 1, 1979 Written by Vincent R. Gutierrez Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When his biological father surfaces, Albert devises a twisted strategy to getContinue reading “The Family Tree”

“Back to School,” Part One

Love is a Manly Splendored Thing; or Flippin’ Awesome (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Back to School” [sic], Part One Airdate: September 17, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Walnut Grove experiences an outbreak of immortal TV moments when a grown man named Almanzo Wilder comes to town. RECAP:Continue reading ““Back to School,” Part One”

The Odyssey

How Do They Get the Body Back to Walnut Grove, in a Backpack?; or He Was Just Doing His Job, Chuck! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Odyssey  Airdate: March 19, 1979 Written by Carole and Michael Raschella Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: This week’s summary is a direct quote fromContinue reading “The Odyssey”

Mortal Mission

Much Ado About Mutton; or Selling Poison Meat to Blind Orphans? What Kind of Show Is This? (a recap by Will Kaiser – Menz Weekend edition) Title: Mortal Mission Airdate: March 12, 1979 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Half the town nearly dies of anthrax, andContinue reading “Mortal Mission”

The Enchanted Cottage

Always Look On the Bright Side of Life; or Stupid Mary Rides Again (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Enchanted Cottage Airdate: February 26, 1979 Written by Don Balluck Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Mary can see again! Actually, no she can’t.  In other business, Michael Landon’s infatuation with theContinue reading “The Enchanted Cottage”