Fred

When You Assume, It Makes a Goat Out of U and Me; or Charge-in’ Charles (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Fred Airdate: November 29, 1976 Written by Robert Vincent Wright Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Everybody gets an ass-butt from a goat. And, Charles is naked. RECAP: We’ve a specialContinue reading “Fred”

Little Girl Lost

Caaaaarrriiiiiieeeeeeeee!; or She’s Fine, She Can Barely Speak, Same as Always (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Little Girl Lost Airdate: October 18, 1976 Written by Paul W. Cooper Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s the one where Carrie falls in the well. Meanwhile, Mr. Hanson battles an old enemy for theContinue reading “Little Girl Lost”

The Race

Half This Episode is Fat-Shaming Twelve-Year-Olds (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Race Airdate: October 11, 1976 Written by John V. Hanrahan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie and Laura are the only two contestants in an annual Hero Township-wide horse race, if you can believe that. RECAP: Bummer ofContinue reading “The Race”

Bunny

Fucking Bunny, Man; or Would They Really Hang a Child on This Show? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Bunny Airdate: October 4, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Animal abuse escalates the Laura/Nellie war. RECAP: Fucking “Bunny,” man! All hands on deck, let’s do it! We open with aContinue reading “Bunny”

The Collection

The Murder of Mary Ingalls; or He’s Getting Ten Years of Songs Out of This One Episode (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Collection Airdate: September 27, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Aldi becomes the victim of kidnapping and identity theft when he encounters some unethicalContinue reading “The Collection”

EXTRA: The 1976 Walnut Groovy Awards

Well, who’da believed it, another season come and gone in the blink of an eye. (Actually, I thought we’d be much further along by now, but oh well.) As you may know, between seasons, we like to revisit the Walnut Groovy Awards . . . to my knowledge the only awards franchise in history thatContinue reading “EXTRA: The 1976 Walnut Groovy Awards”

Going Home

The High-Waisted Horny Hustle; or You’re the Main Character of the Show, You’re Not Going Anywhere (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Going Home Airdate: March 31, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Charles freaks when a tornado destroys his crops, but yet another Magical Old Man materializes to showContinue reading “Going Home”

For My Lady

Widow House on the Prairie; or Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Widow Lies (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: For My Lady Airdate: March 10, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL:  WILL: So in this one, Charles does handyman work for a hot woman so heContinue reading “For My Lady”

Troublemaker

Bye Bye Beadie; or Crab-Apple-pocalypse Now (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Troublemaker Airdate: February 25, 1976 Written by John Hawkins Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: After the Bead loses a no-confidence vote, a psychopath takes her place. RECAP: Well, after the momentum of “The Runaway Caboose,” our run of good storiesContinue reading “Troublemaker”

The Pride of Walnut Grove

The Crochet One; or Is This Rated Thirteen-Plus Because Charles Has Sex With Mrs. Whipple? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Pride of Walnut Grove Airdate: January 28, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Mary is sent to a math competition in Minneapolis, where she experiencesContinue reading “The Pride of Walnut Grove”