The Handyman

Caroline Ingalls in Heat; or Unky Chris (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Handyman Airdate: October 3, 1977 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Ma nearly has an affair with a hunky vagabond until Mary goes berserk and puts a stop to it. (FEATURING A SPECIAL APPEARANCEContinue reading “The Handyman”

The Music Box

Desire Begets Punishment; or Head Games (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Music Box Airdate: March 14, 1977 Written by Robert Janes Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie engages in psychological warfare, blackmailing Laura and torturing a girl with a speech impediment. Then Laura is hanged to death. In other words,Continue reading “The Music Box”

“I’ll Ride the Wind”

“‘I’ll Break the Wind’”; or  How Good are You at Milking, Mary? (a recap by Will Kaiser) TITLE: “I’ll Ride the Wind” [sic] AIRDATE: January 10, 1977 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by William F. Claxton EDITOR’S WARNING: This recap is rated 13+ for more tasteless commentary than usual. Reader discretion is advised. (Even better,Continue reading ““I’ll Ride the Wind””

Journey in the Spring, Part One

La La Lansford; or Can You Imagine CHARLES INGALLS is Your Fucking Brother? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Journey in the Spring, Part One Airdate: November 15, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: We meet Charles’s parents, and, like the good Little House characters they are, they immediately goContinue reading “Journey in the Spring, Part One”

Going Home

The High-Waisted Horny Hustle; or You’re the Main Character of the Show, You’re Not Going Anywhere (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Going Home Airdate: March 31, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Charles freaks when a tornado destroys his crops, but yet another Magical Old Man materializes to showContinue reading “Going Home”

Soldier’s Return

Whip It Sad; or Six Degrees of Granville Whipple (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Soldier’s Return Airdate: March 24, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL:  Almost in time for Mother’s Day (and Fentanyl Awareness Day), we meet Mrs. Whipple’s son Granville, who loses his life toContinue reading “Soldier’s Return”

The Pride of Walnut Grove

The Crochet One; or Is This Rated Thirteen-Plus Because Charles Has Sex With Mrs. Whipple? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Pride of Walnut Grove Airdate: January 28, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Mary is sent to a math competition in Minneapolis, where she experiencesContinue reading “The Pride of Walnut Grove”

At the End of the Rainbow

The Problem is, Laura Isn’t Really This Stupid; or Nels Doesn’t Deserve To Be in This Dream Sequence (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: At the End of the Rainbow Airdate: December 10, 1975 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura strikes gold (she thinks) and hallucinates hillbillies. RECAP:Continue reading “At the End of the Rainbow”

The Spring Dance

The Love of Willie Oleson; or She’s My Cherry Pie (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Spring Dance Airdate: October 29, 1975 Written by Gerry Day Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura fakes a love affair with Willie to get a boy’s attention. Meanwhile, Grace Snider does the exact sameContinue reading “The Spring Dance”

The Richest Man in Walnut Grove

The Return of Lemon Verbena (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Richest Man in Walnut Grove Airdate: September 10, 1975 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: After getting laid off, Charles panics because he can’t pay his bill at the Mercantile, even though Nels says it’s no big deal. That’s theContinue reading “The Richest Man in Walnut Grove”