Lice-Infested Arnold Lundstrom

The Talking Machine

She Humiliated Me . . . With Science! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Talking Machine Airdate: January 14, 1976 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie is bested by Laura in matters of love, so she plans a humiliation far exceeding anything else she’s done so far.Continue reading “The Talking Machine”

The Camp-Out

Eff You and the Bush You Rode In On, Nellie Oleson (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Camp-Out Airdate: November 19, 1975 (?) Written by Gerry Day Story by Joseph Bonaduce Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Mrs. Oleson thinks the Ingallses’ vacation is a scam to win a leaf-gathering contestContinue reading “The Camp-Out”

The Spring Dance

The Love of Willie Oleson; or She’s My Cherry Pie (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Spring Dance Airdate: October 29, 1975 Written by Gerry Day Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura fakes a love affair with Willie to get a boy’s attention. Meanwhile, Grace Snider does the exact sameContinue reading “The Spring Dance”

Four Eyes

Mary Inglasses; or Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Mary’s Got Four Eyes Four-Eyes Nyah Nyah Four-Eyes Four-Eyes (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Four Eyes Airdate: September 17, 1975 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Stupid Mary returns! In this soft launch of the Mary Goes Blind Saga, Mary hidesContinue reading “Four Eyes”

Founder’s Day

The Load of Bull (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Founder’s Day Airdate: May 7, 1975 Written by John and Ward Hawkins Story by Byron Twiggs and Ward Hawkins Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A huge insane old idiot is an asshole to everyone, but Charles feels sorry for his wife,Continue reading “Founder’s Day”

Christmas at Plum Creek

“Do you see what the tree’s decorated with?” “Yah. Sexcorn.” (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Christmas at Plum Creek Airdate: December 25, 1974 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: The Ingallses all get each other stupid Christmas presents. Laura sells Bunny to Nellie to buy Ma aContinue reading “Christmas at Plum Creek”

The Award

Stupid Mary; or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Skip My Final (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Award Airdate: December 11, 1974 Written by Michael Landon Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Stupid Mary almost burns down the barn while studying for a test. Ma freaks out and forbidsContinue reading “The Award”

The Love of Johnny Johnson

“I don’t give a hoot for your dumb old Johnny Johnson!” (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Love of Johnny Johnson Airdate: October 9, 1974 Written by Gerry Day Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura falls in love with an age-inappropriate idiot, but he only has eyes for uptight prissContinue reading “The Love of Johnny Johnson”