“I’ll Ride the Wind”

“‘I’ll Break the Wind’”; or  How Good are You at Milking, Mary? (a recap by Will Kaiser) TITLE: “I’ll Ride the Wind” [sic] AIRDATE: January 10, 1977 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by William F. Claxton EDITOR’S WARNING: This recap is rated 13+ for more tasteless commentary than usual. Reader discretion is advised. (Even better,Continue reading ““I’ll Ride the Wind””

The Collection

The Murder of Mary Ingalls; or He’s Getting Ten Years of Songs Out of This One Episode (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Collection Airdate: September 27, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Aldi becomes the victim of kidnapping and identity theft when he encounters some unethicalContinue reading “The Collection”

Going Home

The High-Waisted Horny Hustle; or You’re the Main Character of the Show, You’re Not Going Anywhere (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Going Home Airdate: March 31, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Charles freaks when a tornado destroys his crops, but yet another Magical Old Man materializes to showContinue reading “Going Home”

For My Lady

Widow House on the Prairie; or Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Widow Lies (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: For My Lady Airdate: March 10, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL:  WILL: So in this one, Charles does handyman work for a hot woman so heContinue reading “For My Lady”

The Talking Machine

She Humiliated Me . . . With Science! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Talking Machine Airdate: January 14, 1976 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie is bested by Laura in matters of love, so she plans a humiliation far exceeding anything else she’s done so far.Continue reading “The Talking Machine”

The Gift

The Grifters; or The Wheels of Evil (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Gift Airdate: December 17, 1975 Written by Rocci Chatfield Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura gets entangled in history’s first pyramid scheme, steamrolls Mary, and pretends Caroline is dead. RECAP:  DAGNY: You know, I realized today WalnutContinue reading “The Gift”

At the End of the Rainbow

The Problem is, Laura Isn’t Really This Stupid; or Nels Doesn’t Deserve To Be in This Dream Sequence (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: At the End of the Rainbow Airdate: December 10, 1975 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura strikes gold (she thinks) and hallucinates hillbillies. RECAP:Continue reading “At the End of the Rainbow”

The Spring Dance

The Love of Willie Oleson; or She’s My Cherry Pie (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Spring Dance Airdate: October 29, 1975 Written by Gerry Day Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura fakes a love affair with Willie to get a boy’s attention. Meanwhile, Grace Snider does the exact sameContinue reading “The Spring Dance”

Four Eyes

Mary Inglasses; or Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Mary’s Got Four Eyes Four-Eyes Nyah Nyah Four-Eyes Four-Eyes (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Four Eyes Airdate: September 17, 1975 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Stupid Mary returns! In this soft launch of the Mary Goes Blind Saga, Mary hidesContinue reading “Four Eyes”

If I Should Wake Before I Die

The Soul of Patience; or, Go Tell Miss Amy Her Old Gray Roommate’s Dead (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: If I Should Wake Before I Die Airdate: October 23, 1974 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: An insane old woman fakes her death to drive her children crazy.Continue reading “If I Should Wake Before I Die”