The Faith Healer

The Banality of Evil; or

Total Eclipse of the Appendix

(a recap by Will Kaiser)

Title: The Faith Healer

Airdate: November 19, 1979

Written by Don Balluck

Directed by Maury Dexter

SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Another Reverend Alden one. This time, Dabbs gets to flex his acting muscles when Aldi is challenged by a rival evangelist.

EDITOR’S NOTE: As you probably know, reader, all of us here in Minneapolis/St. Paul are living in the wake of a horror beyond understanding (yet again). Little House can only provide so much comfort, and I’ll warn you that this story depicts the death of a child. If you have kids in your life, hug ’em tonight. – WK

RECAP: This one has a strange opening.

To slow, majestic music, a man – I can’t tell who – drives slowly and majestically into the Grove.

Not-Richard Libertini and his family – can’t really see them, but I think the younger child is the Misbehaving Little Girl – are walking slowly and majestically by as well.

Or it might be the Midsommar Kid. It’s hard to say.

Meanwhile, Willie Oleson and Gelfling Boy play catch, fairly slowly, and as majestically as it is possible to do so.

DAGNY: Sometimes . . .

WILL: Yes?

DAGNY: . . . I think David Rose should be strangled. 

WILL: Now, now.

DAGNY: It’s just so over-the-top. The chimes . . .

WILL: Well, yes. Is it a hymn? Is it a processional? It sounds like the Queen of England entering a room.

The pacing of music and action may be slow and syrupy, but they cannot distract from the fact that frankly, the thoroughfare is pretty fucking chaotic today.

In addition to the Not-Libertini family and the unknown man (the latter of whom – Almanzo? – suddenly veers north in his buckboard), there are six or seven people milling about, not by the Mill uh huh huh, but down where the road leads into town from the south. (Or “Southgate,” as I may decide to call this area at some future time.)

(It’s worth noting, the buckboard comes into town via what appears to be a new-cut road north of the bridge? An express bypass, I expect.)

Finally, and most noteworthily of all, we see a strange vehicle entering the town. It’s adorned with a cross.

Willie runs into the Mercantile to tell his mother (L-C Pinky) that the “preacher man’s here.”

Harriet starts grunting obscenely with excitement. (You gotta hear it to believe it.) 

Hilariously, she throws a handful of jelly beans she’s been eating back into the jar.

Outside, the driver of the wagon, who looks like he could place in a Doc Baker-impersonator pageant, is crying, “God be with ya, God be with ya!”

His ride is either a souped-up old stagecoach or, more likely, a former circus wagon. Cherubim, seraphim and the like appear to be erupting from it.

In a shot that anticipates our first glimpse of Mommy Fortuna’s Midnight Carnival in The Last Unicorn, the wagon turns slightly, and we can see it bears a sign reading Divine Church of Salvation, Rev. Jacob Danforth.

At the Mill, Charles and Jonathan Garvey gawk at the stranger.

AMELIA: Did Michael Landon not KNOW how to button shirts?

Chuck and Big Jon are both a-standin’ with their thumbs hooked in their trouser pockets. 

AMELIA: I like their bromance.

They have a little expository conversation about how Mrs. Oleson heard a preacher someplace and invited him to do a guest spot on this show.

The stranger will be preaching tonight.  That’s it for the Grovester bro-sters for now.

Next we see Mrs. O offering a slender balding man some lemonade in their residence.

He’s tall and skinny and looks like a scarecrow in somebody’s garden: the Reverend Danforth.

DAGNY: Is he some kind of undertaker? He looks like the guy from Poltergeist. Does Walnut Grove turn out to be on an ancient burial ground?

Anyways, apparently they’re wrapping up their visit. Nels recommends that Danforth, a traveling tent revivalist, set up “in the field down from the Feed and Seed.”

DAGNY: Seriously, what’s going to happen in this one? He’s so scary. And look at all those pots and pans! It’s just like The Shining.

WILL: . . . It’s just kitchen stuff!

(I love MacG’s face in that one.)

Mrs. Oleson is very excited about his presence in town – also a bad sign – and he’s got a smirk like a Skeksis, which doesn’t bode well either. But let’s not get ahead of the story.

Danforth mentions some “assistants” will be coming in to help him set up.

DAGNY: That poor kid.

WILL: In The Shining?

DAGNY: Yes.

DAGNY: We don’t watch The Shining very often.

WILL: No. I like it, but I find it kind of a bummer. It’s not a fun horror movie like Halloween.

DAGNY: No, it’s sad. But I like it for that reason.

Danforth exits.

DAGNY: That hat. He’s so weird.

Then a man-and-boy double act arrive.

At first, I was sure the man was Jeremy Quinn, Albert’s biological dad, in part because the actor looks like Michael Pataki, who played him, and in part because he’s wearing Quinn’s costume. (That should be a no-no for two similar-looking actors in the same season, in my view.)

But no, this turns out to be a different character, a Matthew Dodds, and he’s played by Tom Rosqui, who’s known to Godfather fans (the movie, mind you, not the pizza) as a Corleone family capo named Rocco Lampone.

He also was in Days of Wine and Roses and Airport ’77, and was on a number of TV shows, including Wonder Woman, The Rockford Files, Diff’rent Strokes, Days, Knight Rider, and Cheers. 

In addition to Michael Pataki, I think he looks a bit like Nicolai Gedda, the celebrated Swedish tenor.

Mr. Dodds’s son, who looks to be about twelve or so, is excited that the famous Rev. Danforth is in town. We have already seen on this show how some characters treat clergymen like celebrities. 

Notably, Caroline acts like a sixties teen seeing the Beatles when Rev. Alden’s around.

And I suppose this community has no theater or other entertainment, save for Pa’s fake fiddling and Hester-Sue singing when somebody dies. 

(Other Groveland performers have given the arts a bad name with their rock-star lifestyles: John Junior the womanizing poet, Granville Whipple the OD-ing junkie, Toby Noe with his host of problems, etc.)

I expect sermonizing could be seen as its own type of performance art, especially in those days, and it’s not unthinkable that charismatic ministers might have had groupies. They still do today, I guess.

Anyways, the boy, who looks a bit like my first cousin Charity (a misnomer if ever there was one), is excited about going to hear the preacher. (Charity probably would be too.)

We don’t learn anything more about these people now, because we cut to a funny shot of Bandit sleeping in the driver’s seat of the Chonkywagon. (Bandit’s barely been seen this season.)

Inside the Little House, Rev. Alden is having dinner with the Ingallses.

The Rev says he appreciates the hospitality since his wife Anna (as we know a fine cook) is out of town visiting her sister. (Spoilers, but she will never return.)

We haven’t seen Anna since the wedding, and that was just four episodes ago. 

But remember, time works differently in the Little House TV universe, and I estimate about two years (Little House Universe Time) have passed since “The Preacher Takes a Wife.” 

Greedy Aldi asks for a second piece of free cake.

DAGNY: Aldi’s always pigging out. [as REV. ALDEN, snarfing with his mouth full:] “Oh, I’d love another piece of chocolate cake!”

Pa remarks that business is flourishing at the Mill. (I know, I don’t care either, but the information may prove useful later.)

Then the conversation shifts to the strange preacher. Rev. Alden says he’s going to take in a service himself, and Albert says Danforth has a reputation for performing miracles.

After considering a moment how to answer, Alden says, “Some individuals have that gift.”

DAGNY: Are they going to bring all the blind kids?

WILL: No – well, you’re getting ahead of the story.

Pa expresses skepticism – not about the faith healing, but about having competing ministries in the Grove.

AMELIA: Wow, Charles, put that hair in a ponytail.

(It occurs to me how rarely we see Charles’s ears on this show.)

Ma says since the services are at different times, everyone will obviously go to both.

DAGNY: She can be pretty dumb sometimes.

Pa says he’s not so sure, and the Rev says he’s worried about that too.

Oh, fiddlesticks, says Ma.

Alden says he fears some people are not satisfied with the clerical status quo in the town, “otherwise why would Mrs. Oleson have invited the Reverend Danforth here in the first place?”

Albert says obviously Harriet Oleson needs to go to multiple services a week “to get forgiveness for all the stuff she does.”

Everybody laughs at this. (Us too.)

AMELIA: That was good, Albert.

And the next thing you know, we’re at the tent revival.

AMELIA: Where did this crowd come from? Walnut Grove has, like, thirty people.

Indeed, there are a lot of people here we’ve never seen before, as well as ones we have, like the Ingallses, Garveys and Wilders.

There are also cameo appearances by some of the Mankato folks (Mankunians? Mankovites? Mankegians?) we met last week, including Not-Clint Howard and Not-Timothée Chalumeaux.

There’s also a guy who resembles the young Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Danforth proselytizes from the front of the tent whilst underlings pass collection plates.

To me, he doesn’t seem a particularly compelling speaker; but he does hint at miracles in his sermon.

Towards the back, we see a lady in a wheelchair. (Nellie’s?)

The lady, who looks a bit like Rose Wilder Lane, watches intently.

Not-Stanley Tucci and Not-Victor Kiriakis are also there.

And there’s a woman, who, I swear to God, is wearing Miss Peel’s black bonnet! Probably a coincidence, though there is thematic overlap between the two stories.

There’s also a man with crutches who looks like Pete from 30 Rock.

Danforth goes on and on, adding some wacky hand gestures (for the benefit of the back row, I presume).

Danforth’s argument is a little unorthodox. He argues that God has nothing to do with people getting sick or injured, that it’s purely the work of Satan. If summoned properly, he says, God will happily undo the damage the Devil has done. (This approach would be denounced as witchcraft by the church I grew up in.)

Matthew Dodds and his son watch spellbound (probably).

AMELIA: The Reverend has a long mouth, like the Joker.

WILL: Yeah, crossed with Conan O’Brien.

DAGNY: Crossed with Mr. Burns.

In reality, he’s James Olson, possibly best known as the hero in The Andromeda Strain. (Nobody talks about that one much these days. I found it very disturbing as a kid.)

I haven’t seen The Andromeda Strain in years, but I’m pleased to learn the cast also features:

Walker Edmiston (creepy scholarship guy from the University of Chicago) . . . 

. . . Ramon Bieri (Liam O’Neil, aka Shifty O’Crafty) . . . 

. . . Michael Pataki (Jeremy Quinn, as I mentioned, and also Doc’s victim Stanley Novack) . . .

. . . Arthur Hill (Lansford Ingalls 1) . . . 

. . . and Richard Bull!

Olson’s other movies include The Sharkfighters (sounds good), Ragtime, Amityville II: The Possession, and Commando. (Nobody talks about that last one either these days.)

(Or maybe some people do remember it. Only today at the Minnesota State Fair – I wore my mustard-colored fightin’ pants, but there were no incidents – I noticed a quite marvelous painting that incorporated an image from the movie.)

On TV, he did Gunsmoke and Bonanza, Wonder Woman and The Bionic Woman.

He had recurring parts on Maude and Battlestar Galactica.

Additionally, he was on Ironside, Mannix, Cannon, Barnaby Jones, Sheriff Lobo, Hawaii Five-O, and Murder, She Wrote.

Aldi and Doc are also there, lurking at the back of the tent and shooting each other looks.

WILL: Look at Reverend Alden! Doesn’t he look like he has two faces?

(It’s actually Kevin Hagen’s shadow – a weird effect, like Janus in Greek mythology.)

Rev. Danforth invites people from the audience to come up and get healed.

First is the Not-Rose Wilder Lane woman in the wheelchair, who sobs and pleads for help.

Not-Pete from 30 Rock volunteers too.

Then a blind woman cries, “I want to see again!”

AMELIA: Wait, there’s a blind woman in this community THAT THEY DON’T KNOW???

Not-Miss Peel pushes Not-Rose Wilder Lane up to Danforth’s healin’ zone.

DAGNY: And she’s in a wheelchair?

WILL: No, that was a different woman.

DAGNY: Oh.

Our core Grovesters watch the proceedings with interest. They seem unsurprised to find an unknown blind woman in their midst.

It should be mentioned that there’s an organ playing – I think it’s supposed to be diagetic (a useful term I nevertheless can never remember), meaning a character is playing it offscreen rather than David Rose is playing it as background music.

Danforth must have brought along his own organist? It can’t be Toby Noe, since we deduced he’s dead.

Danforth gives Not-RWL a brief qualifying exam. (The questions are gimmes, though.)

Danforth circles the chair a few times, speaking to the Lord.

He commands Not-RWL to stand, and after hemming and hawing a bit, she does.

The crowd is astonished. Stupid Zaldamo actually rises from his seat.

DAGNY: I’ve never seen this one, but I can guess the whole plot.

WILL: It is a little predictable.

Rev. Alden’s eyes are wide.

DAGNY: See, Aldi’s on the case.

After a break, we see the Dodds kid running around with some other youths as Groveland Congo, the town’s proper church, lets out.

Caroline stops and tells Aldi she’s disappointed so few people came to church. (There seem to be a decent number coming out, though, including – I think – the Original Unknown Grovester and a pretty woman who may be his wife, sister or daughter.)

Aldi puts on a brave face, and says, well, it doesn’t matter, religion is religion. That certainly wasn’t the attitude in my home church, but it seems Congregationalists are pretty liberal about such things in real life too; in fact, Congregationalism is the denomination out of which the flexible Unitarianism grew.

Well, next we see a buckboard driven by J.C. Fusspot. He’s accompanied by his Visiting Sister, the Midsommar Kid and the Misbehaving Little Girl, though what on earth those four are doing together is beyond me.

Some Little House mysteries will never be explained.

I suppose the Fusspots might have adopted them. We know the Midsommar Kid was the son, or perhaps nephew, of Mr. Nelson the Gray-Haired Dude, who used to be one of our most frequently-spotted Grovesters, but who hasn’t been seen since “The Fighter” back in Season Four.

The Gray-Haired Dude might have died of anthrax, of course, or he might have been aged to death in the recession, like Mr. Hanson was, and Mrs. Caulder nearly was.

As for the Misbehaving Girl, we never learned anything about her parents; but this being Little House, they’re almost certainly dead.

The family (or whatever) drives away, and immediately the Dodds boy convulses in pain.

DAGNY: Oh no, appendicitis!

WILL: Are you sure you haven’t seen this one?

His friends, whom we’ve never seen before, run for help.

(Somewhat oddly, they get credits: James Jarmigan and Mike T. Powert.)

(“Mike T. Powert” sounds like a phony name to me. It’s the kind of alias some hammy villain would cook up from the letters of his real name. For instance, in this case, might “Mike T. Powert” really be Pietro Twemk, or Kim Peewortt? Erik Wett-Mop? Ewok Permitt? Mr. Kewpie Tot???)

(Oh, and we also see Not-Richard Libertini was also among the Aldenite faithful, as were Gelfling Boy and Seth Johnson. Not sure who the lady with them is.) 

Mr. Dodds, Rev. Alden and Doc rush to help.

Anyways, the ailing Dodds kid’s name is Timothy. (Played by Joey Seifers – no other credits.)

They whisk Timothy to Doc’s surgery, where, Doc briefly puts his hand down the kid’s pants.

AMELIA: Whoa, Doc!

But Doc of course is merely checking for Timothy’s appendix-beat, and he invites Mr. Dodds out to the lobby for a private consultation.

DAGNY [laughing]: That curtain’s so stupid. They treat it like this cone of silence.

Doc tells the dad the kid’s probably got appendicitis.

He recommends taking him to Mankato for surgery.

DAGNY: Oh no, and Doc can’t perform this surgery!

WILL: I guess . . . but he already did do one. He took out Mrs. Oleson’s appendix, remember, when Red Buttons came to town with those magic powders?

DAGNY: Oh God, that one. This is pretty much the same story, actually. Landon! That’s not cool, bro.

(Indeed, there are a lot of echoes here of “Circus Man,” one of my least favorite Little House stories, in which another traveling charlatan in a circus wagon runs afoul of Doc, claiming a magic powder can cure illnesses and injuries. But sorry, getting ahead again.)

Dodds is resistant to the idea of such a long trip, but Doc says, “If you leave right away you can be there by tonight.” (As we’ve noted several times now, you can’t. Mankato’s about three days away by wagon.)

Dodds then sheepishly brings up Rev. Danforth, and Doc whips his head around to stare the man in the face.  

Doc argues quite vigorously that whatever “powers” Danforth may have, it would be dangerous and irresponsible not to get proper medical treatment for the kid.

Dodds says okay – but he’ll try the preacher first.

His manner changing, Dodds then says with condescension, “Maybe you don’t have faith in the Lord’s power, but I do.”

Doc just stares at him as he goes.

AMELIA: I love Doc.

WILL: Yeah. This would be a challenging job. Standing up to all these stupid people, trying to help them in spite of themselves. . . .

(I won’t labor the point, but this story still resonates with issues today in the United States, where half the country has decided scientific facts are inconsistent with their religious and political beliefs. History, too.) 

(I know there are many things that are true that people would prefer to be false, but suppressing facts doesn’t turn them into lies. In the case of medicine – a scientific discipline quickly being destroyed in America as I write this – it’s tragic. Literally sickening.) 

(But as we shall see later in this story, religion can provide excellent cover for whatever the hell you want to believe – or want other people to believe. If you live in the U.S., you probably know that already, though.)

Back at the Little House, the kids beg to go to Rev. Danforth’s tent revival that afternoon.

Then at the prayer service, Doc slips into the tent as we get a good look at Not Axl Rose, Not-Clint Howard, and Blond Not-Pedro Pascal.

Not-Ewan McGregor is there too, standing next to a guy who looks like the Strong Man from “Annabelle” on Ozempic.

Not-Ewan McGregor, who admittedly looks much less like Ewan McGregor in daylight, is leaning on a crutch. I’ll just make a note of THAT.

There’s a woman in a blue bonnet who I believe is the Very Concerned-Looking Saloon Girl from last week.

(Her story might be interesting to delve into at another time.)

The Buster Scruggs/William Katt wannabe is there too, as is (most delightfully) the Giddy Mankato Idiot who got a little too excited at the Stavroupolis/Mueller wrestling match.

Finally, Doc Holliday as played by Val Kilmer has come to town too. (I’m glad to have some new extras to track; can you tell?)

As Timothy Dodds suffers in the audience, Doc listens to Danforth’s sermon with a look of disgust on his face.

Timothy Dodds starts whimpering and squeaking with pain.

DAGNY: The dubbing is bad on the kid’s noises.

Doc tries to intervene, but Mr. Dodds yells at him and brings him up to Danforth.

On the way, he passes a very upset-looking older man.

Everyone wonders what will happen, including the Olesons, Not-Timothée Chalumeaux and a lady who looks like Beverly Sills.

(Not-Beverly Sills may be the woman who wears the bonnet that looks like a bra in “In the Big Inning,” but I’m not sure.)

The Ingallses wonder too, as do Chris Hemsworth and Megan Follows lookalikes.

Doc yells that the kid’s got appendicitis, but Matthew Dodds shouts, “He don’t know that for sure! He admitted he don’t!”

WILL: That’s the attitude that got a million people killed during COVID.

Timothy Dodds also passes Danforth’s do-you-believe-in-God quiz, and the preacher goes into his mystical hand-gesture routine again.

WILL: Doc should break a milk jug over his head.

Danforth begins repeating the phrase “drawing out the pain,” then he suddenly screams “Heal!”

Timothy faints, then quickly recovers and says he feels better.

Danforth starts calling out hallelujahs, and the Doddses hug each other.

DAGNY: Oh my God, are they in on it?

They aren’t, but it isn’t clear why Tim’s pain suddenly vanishes in that case. Hypnotic suggestion? Or does the pain just subside naturally? In Doc’s office, the kid implied that it comes and goes.

Doc watches this demonstration with a mix of astonishment and dismay on his face. (Kevin Hagen is great in this one.)

After another commercial, we see Rev. Alden in church alone, making some notes for a sermon.

Rev. Danforth enters, and the two exchange pleasant politenesses.

Alden thanks Danforth for not scheduling his services to conflict with Groveland Congo’s. Danforth is quite nice about it.

Rev. Danforth, who when he isn’t preaching has a light, silky, John-Junior-ish way of speaking, says so many people have been coming to his meetings, he’s rethinking his plans for the rest of the year.

“Oh?” says Alden.

DAGNY: Oh my God, back that up.

DAGNY: That’s exactly how my mom would say “Oh?” To a tee. It’s like Dabbs studied her.

We watched it three times.

Danforth says his meetings are so popular, he’s thinking of permanently settling in Walnut Grove whilst still serving other communities in the region.

DAGNY: Now how does that make any sense? He thinks he’d get more people here than in Mankato or Sleepy Eye?

He mentions it’s hard to sustain tent revivals through the winter in a climate like Minnesota’s.

DAGNY: That’s hysterical. It’s always summer on this show!

Then Danforth makes a surprising offer to Alden: that the two of them work together as a team, with Groveland Congo as their home base.

He says he’s already discussed it with Harriet Oleson, who thinks it’s a smashing idea.

Aldi looks at Danforth a moment, then says that isn’t how this church decides things. 

Though he speaks civilly, he’s clearly insulted, and he rises and says, “I will not share this pulpit with you.”

AMELIA: Good job, Aldi.

WILL: Yeah, Aldi’s had some good stories this season.

Rev. Danforth also rises.

AMELIA [as REVEREND DANFORTH]: “This means war, Alden!”

DAGNY: Yeah, they’re like two wizards duelling.

Indeed. Danforth stares at Alden and bitchily informs him he will start directly competing with his services after all.

WILL [as REV. ALDEN, dryly]: “Vindictive, Danforth.”

DAGNY: This is spooky music. It’s like an old radio thriller or something.

Now we see the tent revival on Sunday. Its parking lot is crowded.

But Aldi’s service is attended just by the Ingallses, the Garveys, and Doc.

WILL: Of course these goodie-goodies haven’t abandoned him.

Well, Aldi sadly makes his benediction.

DAGNY: Where are Mary and Adam? Where is Hester-Sue?

These are good questions, Dags. I think the only explanation is that this episode takes place in an alternate universe in which the Kendalls, Hester-Sue and their students never relocated to Minnesota in the first place. 

But that means we’re now in a different timeline than the one where the Oleson Institute exists. We’ll call it Timeline K.

Otherwise, how are we to believe that the arrival of a man who can cure blindness wouldn’t be discussed primarily in the context of the students and staff of the Oleson Institute – the only blind school north of Iowa in this part of the Midwest!

WILL: Plus if he cured the blind kids, imagine the publicity for Mrs. Oleson! She’d march them over there personally.

After the service, our friends stay behind to cheer Aldi up.

AMELIA: They should hire a hitman to kill Harriet.

DAGNY: Yeah. The whole town could chip in. It would get people back to church, in fact.

But the conversation hasn’t gotten as far as that when Matthew Dodds bursts in looking for Doc. Timothy, surprise surprise, has relapsed.

Timothy is in the back of Dodds’s buckboard outside – or rather, his body is, since Doc quickly pronounces him dead.

Trembling with horror, Matthew Dodds picks up Timothy’s body and marches over to the Divine Church of Salvation.

AMELIA: But did this all happen within three days? Because then he wouldn’t have made it to Mankato anyway.

It’s another good question, but it has been more than three days.

We previously deduced that Alden is typically in town at least two weeks in a row. If he’s changed this schedule since getting married, nobody’s mentioned it.

Rev. Danforth never says how often he’s preaching during the week, but his first meeting, the one where he healed Not-Rose Wilder Lane, appeared to have been held at night.

Less than a week later, then, Rev. Alden held his first poorly attended Sunday service. That same afternoon, Rev. Danforth “healed” Timothy Dodds, so it’s actually been a whole week since Doc diagnosed the boy.

Under the tent, Rev. Danforth is mid-sermon. Does he heal people at every service? Earlier Laura suggested people were lining up for help with their infirmities.

Anyways, Danforth trails off when Dodds appears with his son’s body.

DAGNY: No way. This time it really is the Erlkönig!

WILL: It is! In seinen Armen das Kind . . . war tot!

DAGNY: Yeah, David should have used that music rather than all this syrupy shit. Danforth actually looks how I picture the Erlkönig.

“My Timothy is dead,” Dodds says, and the crowd gasps.

“You said he was healed!” Dodds says angrily, but Danforth just responds, “It was God’s will.”

Doc steps up and says, “No it wasn’t – it was your will, Reverend Danforth.”

Without asking how he did it, Doc says getting rid of Timothy’s pain only concealed the problem. There is a young woman who lives here in Minnesota who has a rare condition which makes her unable to feel pain. And Doc is right, while it may seem like something to wish for, in fact lack of pain is disastrous for the human body. As a child, the woman hurt herself severely many times without even realizing it, including injuring her eyes and mouth and getting burns she couldn’t feel. Hers is a really inspiring story.

Rev. Alden pompously says, “I demand to address this assembly before further tragedies occur!”

But Danforth won’t have that and shouts him down.

Danforth immediately tells the congregation that, while God has given him the power to cure, of course it is He Himself who makes the final call on life and death.

Danforth says it’s “an abomination” to question the will of God or to suggest He doesn’t know what’s best for them all.

Danforth declares Timothy is now living in glory with God in Heaven.

WILL: They should ask Carrie to confirm if he’s really there.

He asks Dodds if he believes that Timothy was saved, and he says yes; then Danforth calls on all the Grovesters to affirm it was God’s will.

DAGNY: I can’t believe he turned this around.

WILL: Religion is flexible that way. People can justify doing horrible things, because whatever happens is just how God wanted it all along. Ministers are trained to help people think that way. Don’t worry about vaccines, if God wants people to survive without them, they will, and if He doesn’t, they won’t. It’s out of our hands. It’s very convenient. Religion can be a great comfort to people that way.

Then, in a moment that’s beyond the pale, Rev. Danforth actually takes Timothy’s corpse from his father and eulogizes him on the spot. 

He’s almost daring the goodie-Grovesters to challenge him further.

Now, one point of contention in this story: the IMDb credits the father and son as Matthew and Timothy Dobbs, but having run the episode through my trademark processing, um, process, I think everyone is actually saying not Dobbs but Dodds. (No surnames are given in the actual credits.)  

In particular, James Olson clearly enunciates Dodds here. The subtitle transcriptionist, no doubt deferring to the IMDb, uses Dobbs, but I have more spine than that! So I fixed it:

Next, we see Rev. Danforth performing Timothy’s actual funeral. He’s reading the Twenty-Third Psalm – you know, of “The Lord is My Shepherd” fame.

Turnout for the funeral is an odd mix: Mr. Dodds of course, the Ingallses (minus Carrie and Grace), the Garveys (with Andrew), J.C. Fusspot, Miniature Art Garfunkel, and about eight randos.

DAGNY: Where is this cemetery? Don’t they usually bury people up on a hill on this show?

They do.

They do; but when we see Rev. Alden leaning against a tree with a swing on it, we realize Timothy is actually being buried on the Groveland Elementary playground.

The graves on the playground are beloved by fans as an odd and amusing detail, but this is the first time we’ve actually seen anyone buried here.

DAGNY: Aldi should be sitting on the swing kicking his feet like Lily Tomlin.

Later, Charles finds Aldi brooding in the church. The Rev indicates he’s leaving, but Charles already seems to know that.

DAGNY: What Charles is wearing, you could literally put on a guy today and it would look stylish.

Aldi says it’s not pride, but rather the horror of Timothy’s death and Danforth’s complicity in it.

AMELIA: They should just burn the tent down. Isn’t that what they did to get rid of somebody in those days?

“I never felt right about Danforth either,” Charles says. “I just wish our votes could have stopped him.” It’s a little unclear, but it seems there was an untelevised scene in which Groveland Congo’s venerable Board of Elders voted on whether to combine the two ministries.

WILL: Is Aldi going to summon Dean Harmon for reinforcements?

Nevertheless, Charles says he wishes Aldi would give the co-op church idea a try.

“No,” Aldi answers with irritation.

AMELIA: Is he just leaving Anna behind? Doesn’t she live there?

Indeed, you’d think he would at least discuss the matter with his wife first.

Charles tentatively suggests it was Mr. Dodds’s fault for listening to Danforth. I disagree about that. You wouldn’t expect an ordinary person to know what to do. That’s what our leaders – medical, scientific, spiritual, and civic – are there to help us with. We give them our trust, and they have a responsibility to do right by us.

But Rev. Danforth is a leader who deliberately deceives the public to grow his own power, who keeps his flock in the dark simply because acknowledging the medical danger would cede authority to others. It’s what we’ve been dealing with in our country the past five years too, not to put too fine a point on it. (Unlike on Little House, in real life the good guys don’t always win.) 

Rev. Alden simply explodes at Charles, saying the stupid people made their decision, and they wanted a magician rather than a minister.

“It’s just your pride,” Charles says – smugly, but caringly so.

But Alden surprises us by turning and roaring, “Yes, God help me, yes!”

Also surprised by his friend’s anger, Charles looks like he wishes he hadn’t challenged him.

Aldi looks sorry for his outburst too. Finally, he says quietly, “I’ll leave on Saturday.”

Charles asks if he would consider leading one final service.

But Aldi says no, he won’t. “Goodbye, Charles,” he says, and walks out.

DAGNY: It is eerie how much he resembles my mom. I can’t think of anything else now.

Dabbs Greer has given consistently fine performances since the beginning of the series. Yes, I know he received the Worst Performance By a Regular Walnut Groovy Award back in 1978, but that was mostly because the writer of that story, Don Balluck, put him in a bad place by giving Aldi preposterous things to say and do.

But this season, Greer has had multiple opportunities to shine. He’s essentially the lead in both this story (also written by Balluck, interestingly) and in “The Preacher Takes a Wife,” and boy, does he show what a wonderful actor he is in both of them.

Well, Charles’s eyes are wet as he watches him go.

We never went through Dabbs’s entire resume, and indeed, it would probably take a half hour just to read his credits out loud. His acting career spanned about seven decades.

Apart from Little House, he might best be known as the elderly version of Tom Hanks’s character in Stephen King’s The Green Mile.

He was in some classic horror films, including the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers, House of Wax, and It! The Terror From Beyond Space. 

(Also in the not-so-classic House IV , which was awful.)

He was in Johnny Tremain and the Marlon Brando/James Mason Julius Caesar, both of which I had to watch in school. (Julius Caesar is quite good; I haven’t watched Johnny Tremain recently enough to say.)

He was in The Spirit of St. Louis, and in the Leo Gordon vehicles China Venture and Riot in Cell Block 11.

On TV, he did You Are There, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Adventures of Superman, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, Death Valley Days, The Rifleman, The Untouchables, Lassie, Perry Mason, The Fugitive, The Wild Wild West, Mannix, Ironside, Gunsmoke, Cannon, The Incredible Hulk, Charlie’s Angels, The Greatest American Hero, Charles in Charge, Roseanne, In the Heat of the Night, L.A. Law, Granville Whipple’s Empty Nest, Picket Fences, Diagnosis: Murder, and Lizzie McGuire.

He was on The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits.

He did Andy Griffith and Dick Van Dyke.

He was on Bonanza – 42 times! No doubt that’s where he and Landon bonded originally.

As multiple readers have pointed out, he was the minister who married Mike and Carol Brady on the pilot episode of The Brady Bunch. (Dags and I caught that one by chance while vacationing earlier this year.)

(In Hawaii!)

Finally, I think Dabbs is the first Little House regular to appear on Saturday Night Live (in 1975). (He was just an extra. Jason Bateman and Shannen Doherty would eventually host the show, of course.)

“Dabbs” was not Greer’s given name, it was his mother’s maiden name. 

And while he went by it professionally, his actual nickname to his friends was Bill, or sometimes “Billy Bob”!

(I have to acknowledge the wonderful Scott Rollins Film and TV Trivia Blog, a veritable museum of character actors, for collecting all the Dabbs pics. You can peruse many more here.) 

After another break, we see the Olesons bidding farewell to Rev. Danforth, who’s going to be making a tour of neighboring towns. “It’s just what you might call a few one-night stands,” he says.

ALL: [gasping in shock]

AMELIA: Did that expression exist???

Actually, and delightfully, it did! In fact, Rev. Danforth is using it in its original sense, to mean “a one-time public performance.” It was only later that it took on the connotation we all know today.

Mrs. Oleson is excited that Danforth will be taking over the proper church when he returns.

Nels doesn’t look so excited, but he mutters politely.

Danforth hops into his wagon and drives off, waving to Charles and Jonathan Garvey as he goes.

Garvey, quite wonderfully, gives Charles a disgusted look and shakes his head.

Back inside the Mercantile, Mrs. Oleson is going over the books and asks Nels in confusion, “Did you put this on Jim Nielsen’s account?” 

(The subtitle transcriptionist, who’s having a rare off day, hears this as Julius‘s account. No judgments here – it must be an exhausting job, and as always I take my hat off to them, whoever they are!)

Nels basically says so what, and they have a brief argument about the whole Danforth v. Alden business.

Harriet says in addition to being “a hand of God,” Rev. Danforth is bringing people to Walnut Grove in droves.

DAGNY: See, that’s why she cares. It’s good for business.

AMELIA: Hm, greedy capitalists and religious extremists allying?

WILL: I know. Thank goodness we live in the Twenty-First Century, huh?

Late that night, Caroline finds Charles brooding in the Common Room. (A lot of brooding in this one.)

“You cahn’t sleep, huh?” she says Britishly.

Charles says he’s making a work trip to Sleepy Eye tomorrow that he hasn’t properly planned for, but Caroline knows he’s also fretting about the ministerial pickle they’re in.

Caroline, who as I mentioned worships Rev. Alden almost to a feverish degree, says she’s sure he’ll be well and some other church will be blessed to have him.

They don’t really say much more – certainly they don’t mention Mrs. Alden – and Charles says he’ll come to bed in a minute after finishing his coffee. 

AMELIA: He’s drinking coffee before bed?

WILL: Yeah. He always drinks coffee late. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT!

(Certain people have encouraged me to cut down on my caffeine consumption late in the day.)

Caroline heads to bed, pausing briefly to look back.

AMELIA: Does Ma ever get a good part again?

WILL: No.

The next morning, Jonathan Garvey, whose part in this is also suckems, tells Charles he looks tired and maybe shouldn’t go to Sleepy Eye.

But he does, and that night, we see the Sleepy Eye cityscape, which curiously is identical to the Winoka cityscape, right down to the wheel of fortune.

At forty miles away, Charles could technically get to Sleepy Eye in a single day, but it would be a long one, and the Chonkies would probably die.

Chuck doesn’t seem worse for the wear, though. We see him having a smoke outside the boarding house where he’s staying. 

Charles chitchats with the landlady, Mrs. Adams.

(She’s Marian (O.) Gibson, who was in Private Lessons, one of those eighties sex comedies you couldn’t get made today.)

Mrs. A is a sweetie-pie who says she’s off to hear an exciting preacher at one of them tent revivals. (Paraphrase.)

Curiosity leads Charles to the tent, where a bunch of weird-looking dudes are gathered by the entrance. (I would give them names, but this recap’s running long as it is.)

The preacher is indeed the Reverend Danforth . . . and the person he’s curing is once again Not-Rose Wilder Lane.

AMELIA: She’s good.

Credited as “Hilda,” Not-Rose is played by Francesca Jarvis, who was in Lilies of the Field with Sidney Poitier, Gunsmoke, Father Murphy, and William F. Claxton’s killer-rabbit masterpiece (Claxterpiece?) Night of the Lepus.

Also there are Not-Pete from 30 Rock and the Unknown Blind Woman.

Well, Charles stands staring like a stupid, dumb farmer.

Grabbing one of the tentflap weirdies, Charles asks where Danforth’s preaching next, and learns it’s a place called Downing. (There is no actual Downing, Minnesota.)

The prayer meeting is to occur at noon the next day.

Charles heads to the livery, where he’s met by the Goofy Old Gent with the Ear Trumpet who traded wagons with him when he was helping his Dakota friends escape the posse in “Freedom Flight.”

Both played by Roy Gunsberg. In fact, I see no reason to think this is a different character. He and Charles don’t recognize each other, but why would they? Charles was in a big hurry, and the GOG’s senses are clearly not what they used to be.

And yes, I know he’s isn’t using the ear trumpet anymore, but obviously, Rev. Danforth healed him.

Evidently employed by the livery in some capacity, the Goofy Old Gent says Charles shouldn’t go out driving so late at night.

Charles doesn’t care what he thinks, though, and he takes off in the Chonkywagon.

The Old Gent, who’s adorable, doesn’t care what Charles thinks either, and he pulls a bottle out of his pocket and starts a-drinkin’.

Charles drives through the night, and I’m sorry, but it is at least a fourteen-hour drive to Walnut Grove, so there’s no way he could make it there and back by noon the next day, unless of course he travels in time, which happens more often than you’d think on this show. 

Well, Chuck makes it home, and immediately tells Rev. Alden what he saw.

DAGNY: Is this Aldi’s HOUSE? 

AMELIA: Yeah . . . and why are they talking in the bedroom?

DAGNY: Yeah, with their marital bed. It’s really improper.

The room has a lot of fancy decorations and photos, including one of Rutherford B. Hayes. (None of John Wilkes Booth, though.)

Aldi gives Charles a brief analytic report you might call “Faith Healers Today: Myth or Reality?”

They agree that while miracles might truly exist, the Rev. Danforth is a fraud.

Chuck is stomping around the room snorting, outraged that a child died because of this asshole.

He invites Aldi to help expose him, but the Rev declines for a reason he explains at some length but that doesn’t really make sense to me.

Charles tells him not to leave Walnut Grove, and actually winks on the way out the door.

We then see an unlikely traveling party comprising Charles, Doc, Matthew Dodds, and Nels and Harriet Oleson heading, presumably, east. (I guess Willie’s running the store again.)

DAGNY: They made that poor bereaved dad come along? Just leave him alone, Chuck.

Mrs. Oleson says she doesn’t believe Charles’s claims, but you can tell she’s just worried about her reputation if they turn out to be true.

Final commercial, then to the prayer meeting in Downing.

What we first see, of course, is Not-Rose Wilder Lane being healed for the third time in this episode.

In the back, the Grovesters stare at this repeat performance.

Oddly, in the audience are the Very Upset-Looking Older Man and Doc Holliday as Played By Val Kilmer, who were also in attendance in Walnut Grove, and they don’t seem to recognize the fraudsters. (I suppose they could be drunk, then, or now, or both.)

As Danforth and Not-RWL bask in the amens, Matthew Dodds suddenly rushes forward and screams, “You killed my son!”

Obviously taken aback, Danforth says, “I know you not,” and Charles steps forward and says, “Perhaps you know me, Reverend.”

Danforth pretends not to remember him either. 

WILL: The odd thing about this is, Charles and Danforth never met, so I don’t see why they WOULD know each other. 

DAGNY: Yeah. [as REV. DANFORTH:] “Wait . . . are you that guy that works at the Mill in Walnut Grove?

AMELIA: Yeah, the one I yelled “God bless you” to?”

But Charles points out the whole delegation of prominent Grovesters and Danforth realizes the jig is up.

Putting on his earnest-speechmaking voice, Charles briefs the crowd on the particulars of the case.

AMELIA: Charles is gonna explain it all, like Poirot.

Landon’s pretty hammy in this scene.

Actually, there are quite a few people in the crowd who were also in Walnut Grove.

Not-Rose Wilder Lane looks embarrassed.

WILL: You know, this actress is still alive. She actually went viral when the Supreme Court Dobbs decision came down. At age ninety, she went to a protest and was in a video shared all over the world.

(All I’ll say about that is: I notice at the protest, she’s in a wheelchair.)

WILL: Do you think anybody in the crowd recognized her and ran up going “Heal, heal!”

DAGNY: Yeah. She was like, damn Bonnetheads, they find me wherever I go.

Charles goes berserk then, grabbing a crutch away from Not-Pete. 

Not-Pete is Henry Kendrick, was in Raising Arizona (a favorite), Revenge of the Nerds, and Kenny Rogers as The Gambler: The Adventure Continues.

He had a recurring role on Father Murphy.

He also did Gunsmoke, Highway to Heaven, Grizzly Adams and Webster.

Charles then swings the crutch at the Fake Blind Woman (she’s Carol Norton) and she flinches away, which would be more surprising if he wasn’t also screaming into her face as he did it.

Chuck then sets his sites on Danforth himself.

When he’s finished, a hilarious old man in the front row stands up and says, “He’s a fake! Let’s go!”

AMELIA: That old guy’s sassy.

Danforth tries his best to reel them back in. He says yes, the healings were a gimmick, but it was just to bring them to salvation. 

“Don’t you understand that?” he screams, and the Sassy Old Guy turns around and says wittily, “I understand you lied!”

(Two other actors receive credits, but I can’t identify them. First, there’s a Jim Weirs, who played “First Man,” and Fred Ashley was “N.D. Man.” I still don’t know what this means; last week we also had an “N.D. Man,” but he was played by Lee Generaux. Could be the Sassy Old Guy, or maybe not.) 

Then, when Rev. Danforth turns around, he finds himself face to face with Matthew Dodds.

WILL: He should pull his appendix out.

But Dodds takes the high road. 

As the music suddenly builds to a frenzy, Charles turns to give Danforth one last look of contempt, and tosses Not-Pete’s crutch to the ground.

TV Tropes suggests there’s fan lore around this story indicating that:

Word quickly got to [Danforth’s] church office and he was defrocked from his ministry, and [his story] spreads throughout his territory. Rejected by everyone and unable to convince others of his so-called “faith healing” powers, he ends up committing suicide shortly after his dismissal from the pulpit.

This theory is morbid and bizarre, and as such fits perfectly into the worldbuilding of Little House on the Prairie. I endorse it.

Anyways, weird Danny Elfman horror chords transition us back to Groveland Congo, where the sun is shining.

As they should be, all the Grovesters’ wagons are parked around the church once more.

Inside, the sanctuary is packed.  

AMELIA: Oh, are Nellie and Doc dating now?

Rev. Alden enters and, quivering, takes his place at the lectern.

WILL [as REV. ALDEN, anguished]: “My wife is dead!” 

Aldi says that, like his parishioners, he expected more out of life too, but he guesses they’re stuck with each other. (Paraphrase.)

AMELIA: They don’t get punished? Instead of healing them, Aldi should smite them with illnesses.

Blah blah, I’m back, Aldi says, and at Charles’s signal the crowd rushes the stage.

AMELIA: A better ending would be if the kid suddenly appeared in the back of the church as a zombie.

WILL: Yeah, Danforth had the power after all, it just took a while to kick in. 

DAGNY: Yeah. Like a THC edible.

Unnecessarily, since she was barely in this story, Voiceover Laura comes over the PA to say that’s how we all learned that Rev. Alden was the greatest, or something, I wasn’t really listening. Bum-Bum-Ba-Dum!

Okay, so now we come to the most interesting question. What happened to Anna Alden? Obviously she never made it back from her sister’s place. Some accident? 

Suicide seems unlikely, but I suppose she might have been murdered by her sister, who was mad with jealousy at Anna’s happiness. (I have known such dynamics between sisters. I mean, not the murder part. Close to it at times, though. . . .)

Of course, it’s also possible that she just died of natural causes on the journey back. She was pretty old, and stranger things have been known.

I feel for Aldi, though. That can’t have been fun news to receive . . . especially after such a stressful week!

STYLE WATCH: Not-Rose Wilder Lane wears a big-collared shirt in a black-and-white plaid. A bit like the Menzies tartan, if memory serves.

Doc wears his own personal Pinky again.

Not-Ewan McGregor’s crutch matches the one Mr. Edwards used in his recent story.

(I bet the style was all the rage in 1884-J, and then Not-Ewan got one on clearance in 1885-K.)

Caroline wears a new dress, I think, with purplish flowers over a black field.

(Correction: She did wear it to the circus. But we didn’t get a good look at it there.)

Laura wears her hair down throughout, and looks quite pretty.

Ma wears her orange-red shawl, which we haven’t seen in a while.

AMELIA: Did the color red exist then?

WILL: No. If you look at photos from the 1800s, there actually weren’t ANY colors yet.

Charles appears to go commando again.

THE VERDICT:

AMELIA: I quite liked that one.

DAGNY: Yeah. Moral of the story, don’t trust disabled people.

WILL: That is not the moral of this story.

I like it too. “The Faith Healer” is not anti-religion. (Neither am I; I’m all for the Aldenite approach.) The episode is an attack on corruption, abusing people’s faith to control them (with echoes of “Whisper Country“), and the irresponsibility and immorality of hurting people in this world and then blaming it on God. 

It’s a little predictable, as Dags pointed out, and yet there’s a real power in its darkness and anger. Dabbs and Hagen are fantastic, and Rev. Danforth might be the coldest, most ethically detached villain we ever meet on the show. The spectacle of him using a child’s corpse as a prop to keep a hold on his congregation is Little House at its cruelest.

Anyways, I invariably get hate mail when we get a religious-extremism story. To that I say: send it to the estate of Don Balluck, not me!

I’m just kidding, keep it comin’. And see ya next time.

UP NEXT: “Author! Author!”