EXTRA: The 1980 Walnut Groovy Awards

Readers may remember I possess an archive of flotsam from the Walnut Groovy Awards, the annual Little House celebration held every summer during the show’s original run.

(If you’re thinking of looking the Groovies up, don’t even bother. Because in this age of AI-distorted, -supplanted, -suppressed and -forgotten knowledge, who knows what to trust anymore?)

(As I’ve noted in the past, some sources even suggest the Groovies were completely “fictitious.” To which I say, does this look fictitious to you???)

I have previously told the story how these historical treasures – including photographs, notes and programs that help reconstruct the ceremonies – came to me. But since we pick up new readers now and then, I’ll tell it again.

Many years ago, in the midst of a family squabble, I threw a tantrum, headed for the highway, and briefly – I am sorry to say it – peddled wares from town to town.

(I’ve collected a lot of junk across the years, there being quite a market in outstate Minnesota for Burmese puppets, moth-eaten smoking jackets, Doctor Who VHS tapes, etc. But that’s not the point of the story.)

One day, feeling downtrodden as well as soggy from a passing rain/snow mix, I found myself at a boarding house in a nice little Minnesota town . . . and as I stared, a rainbow appeared, pointing directly to the dwelling in question.

The proprietress of the place, I learned, was a lovely Irishwoman of perhaps thirty-six or so.

I am suspicious of good-looking people and so might otherwise have left. But her speech was so garbled with impossibly Celticky phrases like “Hap’ I be t’have ye!” that I determined to learn her origin story.

Through a series of incidents too complicated to summarize here, I soon discovered she was no mere “Irish lass,” but one of the fairy-folk!

At first I worried she meant me harm; some of the folk do, you know. (She said something about “cravin’ nourishment” that sent shivers down me spine. Or rather my spine!)

But far from being angry at me discovery (I mean my discovery), this fairy-lady seemed pleased, and said she’d reward my cleverness.

She produced from thin air a chest or trunk which she placed at me feet.

“Is it full of gold?” I stammered; but she only laughed and said, “‘Twouldn’t be like me people t’ give that away! Ye’d have more luck searchin’ in Paddy’s pig farm in the Mountains of Mourne!” No idea what that was supposed to mean.

But from her rough and colloquial yet friendly speech, I concluded the dainty creature was some sort of supernatural Irish Dolly Parton, or something, and I was unafraid.

How the woman knew I was a Little House on the Prairie aficionado, I never knew. The fairy-folk, it is said, see much that is hidden. And lo! the chest turned out to be chock-full of artifacts from something called “The Walnut Groovy Awards”!

The fairy-lady then disappeared, boarding house and all – I never got me luggage back, now that I think about it. But the chest remained.

I returned home with a renewed interest in life, and years later, when I developed the idea to “write up” every Little House episode, I decided to share these treasures of the past with our readers.

With that tedious background out of the way, I will turn the clock back to 1980, where in the Pezihutazizi Ballroom of the Thunderbird Hotel, just off I-494 in Minneapolis, the cast and crew of Little House Season Six are gathering to raise a cheer for . . . well, themselves. Please enjoy. – WK

After a moment of silence for the Mount St. Helens disaster, Katherine MacGregor and William Schallert opened the program with “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers.”

Then, dear reader, it was time for the awards. And they were:

BEST STUNT: Laura saves Daniel Page from the runaway buggy (“Silent Promises”)

I’ve been informed that my favorite stunt of the year, the stage crash in “The Third Miracle,” was actually stock footage and not filmed for the episode. So TS, “TM” SC. You’re DQ-ed.

Fortunately, the leap Laura made into the path of a team of horses to save her lovelorn student Daniel was equally astonishing. (Daniel is the guy she actually should have married in some people’s opinion, ahem.)

I’ve watched the scene several times, and I still can’t tell how they did it safely. Bravo, Laura.

Runners-up: “The Customer” gets hit with a plate (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not“), Albert shimmies/shinnies down the rope (“‘Author! Author!’”), Alice Garvey and Baby Adam are surrounded by flames (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Arnie Cupps crashes into the Efficient Little French Waiter (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Charles is nearly crushed by a runaway millwheel (“‘Back to School‘”), Chief Kilowatt hits the ground running (“The Halloween Dream”), Laura smashes a vase over Jonathan Banks’s head (“‘Darkness is My Friend‘”), the Lineman for the County falls off the pole (“Crossed Connections”), Mary falls down a hundred times in the wilderness (“The Third Miracle”), Mr. Edwards shows Charles “how well he can walk” (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), Mrs. Oleson is knocked over by the tarp (“‘Back to School’”), Mrs. Oleson gets hit in the face with a cake (“‘Back to School’”), Percival takes a soccer ball to the face (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”), Reverend Alden faints at the pulpit (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”)

BEST MUSIC: David Rose (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”)

David Rose’s muse Victor French returned to the production in this story, and with him came his famous/infamous signature tune. But rather than feeling same-old-same-old, this score plumbs new psychological depths, in keeping with this disturbing and emotional story. Old Dan Tremendous, Rosie.

Runners-up: “‘Back to School,’” “The Family Tree,” “The Third Miracle,” “The Halloween Dream,” “The Angry Heart,” “The Werewolf of Walnut Grove,” “‘Darkness is My Friend,'” “Sweet Sixteen,” “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”

WORST MUSIC: David Rose (“The Faith Healer”)

“Sometimes,” Dagny said as we watched this one, “I think David Rose should be strangled.”

I wouldn’t go that far myself, but certainly this score alternates between the syrupy and the ghoulish (who’s playing that organ?) in ways that don’t quite jell.

Runners-up: “‘Author! Author!’”, “‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Ted Voigtlander (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”)

Watching on syndicated TV in the Twentieth Century, it was hard to experience this show’s visuals fully. Today we have crisper images, and can see the care that went into setting up, lighting and filming these stories, with all their tragedy, comedy and horror. In “‘Make Them Proud,'” Ted brings a story of doom, guilt and forgiveness to life, designing shots that project the script’s tone perfectly. And he didn’t even get anybody burned in the process, as far as I understand.

Runners-up: Haskell B. Boggs (“The Third Miracle,” “The Preacher Takes a Wife,” “The Halloween Dream,” “The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”), Ted Voigtlander (“The Family Tree,” “The King is Dead,” “Second Spring,” “‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”) 

BEST SCREENPLAY: TIE: Vince R. Gutierrez (“The Family Tree”) and Del Reisman (“Annabelle”)

Unique amongst Little House stories, “The Family Tree” is a melodrama of deeper-than-usual emotion and a kind a cat-and-mouse game – with Albert as the cat!

And “Annabelle,” an episode remembered by many as an example of silly late-period Little House plots, we find takes itself quite seriously and achieves exactly what it aims to. Surprisingly believable, it’s anchored by the performances of Harriet Gibson and Richard Bull; but the complexity of Annabelle Oleson, a woman of courage, pain, resilience and wisdom, is first laid out on the page.

Not bad for first outings, Vince R. Gutierrez and Del Reisman!

Runners-up: Arthur Heinemann (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), Don Balluck (“The Faith Healer,” “Crossed Connections”), John T. Dugan (“The Third Miracle” (with Kenneth Hunter), “The Preacher Takes a Wife,” “‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56,’” “Sweet Sixteen”), Michael Landon (“‘Back to School,’” “The King is Dead,” “‘May We Make Them Proud,'” “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”)

WORST SCREENPLAY:  TIE: Michael Landon (“The Halloween Dream“), John T. Dugan (“Second Spring”)

You can say one thing for “The Halloween Dream.” While its jokes were tasteless then and seem even more offensive now, it achieves what it aims to, which is satirizing a TV mode most of us don’t remember well in 2026.

Evelyn Waugh said it’s painful to have to explain one’s jokes, and since the vast majority of my jokes are incomprehensible, I say hear hear. Still, I’m not sure it’s more painful than a viewer’s reaction if they don’t recognize that these racist jokes aren’t really racist jokes at all, but rather jokes at the expense of preexisting racist tropes, ha ha, ha ha ha ha!

Waugh was right, but he was also an asshole, and when you consider something like 99.99999 percent of Little House episodes are still watchable today, it says something that this one simply isn’t.

“Second Spring,” on the other hand, fails at just about everything it tries to do, ruining its premise with out-of-character behaviors and featuring the worst fake-Irish dialogue in world history, not to mention turning the nicest guy in Walnut Grove into a cheating weasel who can’t even own up to it. Inconceivably, Dugan was nominated for a WGA award for it (Writers Guild Award, not Walnut Groovy Award); it’s a Doogie Doozie all right, but of the bad kind.

Runners-up: John T. Dugan (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”), Carole and Michael Raschella (“‘Author! Author!’”), Del Reisman (“The Angry Heart”)

BEST DIRECTION:  Michael Landon (“The Return of Mr. Edwards,” “‘May We Make Them Proud,’” “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”)

You’ll agree that if anybody deserves a threeway tie with himself, it’s Michael Landon. Even by Little House standards, the dramatic tension built up in these stories is extraordinary. Landon’s handling shows how much power this show can still command, even six years in.

Runners-up: Maury Dexter (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”), Michael Landon (“‘Back to School,’” “The Third Miracle,” “‘Darkness is My Friend‘”), William F. Claxton (“The Family Tree,” “Annabelle”)

WORST DIRECTION: William F. Claxton (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

It’s a little unfair to call “The Werewolf of Walnut Grove” badly directed; it just can’t decide what kind of story it wants to be. A pantomime for children? An upsetting account of a student bullying a teacher? An allegory about working collectively? William F. Claxton tries to weave all three together, but it just can’t be done. Sorry, Clax.

Runners-up: William F. Claxton (“‘Author! Author!’”)

BEST MAKEUP: Allan “Whitey” Snyder (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

Makeup artist to the stars Whitey Snyder clearly relished doing horror stylings for Season Two’s “The Monster of Walnut Grove,” and I have no doubt he leaped at the chance to do Albert’s wonderful werewolf look for this story too. As someone who adores horror entertainment and the way it opens new veins (so to speak) of creativity in people, I loved seeing this aspect of his artistry showcased again here.

Runners-up: “The Third Miracle,” “‘Darkness is My Friend,'” “‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”

MOST MAKEUP (SPECIAL AWARD): Laura (various)

We’ve commented enough times on how the showrunners thought applying more makeup to Melissa Gilbert’s face would suggest Laura’s gradual maturing. Unfortunately, it just suggested our favorite TV show put too much makeup on its main character.

Runners-up: Albert (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

WORST HAIR: Bartholomew Slater (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

Not much to say about this one, is there, except that Bart proves you can take “the Zaldamo” style too far.

Runners-up: Adam (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Dillon Hyde (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Nellie (“Wilder and Wilder”)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ANIMAL (OR ANIMALS): TIE: The horses navigating the minefield (“The Halloween Dream”), Barnum the horse (“Wilder and Wilder”)

Man, the things this show does to horses! I have no idea how humanely the showrunners treated them – with Jack Lilley involved, I hope they were well cared for. Regardless, once again these brave animals prove the lengths they’ll go to please human beings, with stunning visual results.

Runners-up: The honeybees (“The Third Miracle”), Bandit (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”), the shaggy prancing dog (“Second Spring”), the Magical Sacrificial Deer (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), the ducks (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”), Tarra the elephant (“Annabelle”), Nels’s horse (“Second Spring”), the blonde Madonna horse (“Second Spring”), Sox the horse (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”), Herman the mouse (“Crossed Connections”), Albert’s pig (“Wilder and Wilder”), the tortoise (“The Halloween Dream”), the vultures (“The Third Miracle”) 

WORST PERFORMANCE BY AN ANIMAL: The Oleson Institute cat (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”)

On the flip side, here’s an animal actor who gives zero shits about pleasing humans. His nonchalance turns what should have been a cat-scare into a mere cat-notice.

Runners-up: Nellie’s raw chicken (“‘Author! Author!’”)

BEST IMPRESSION OF AN ANIMAL (SPECIAL AWARD): Matthew Labyorteaux (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

Whether it’s crying, screaming, vomiting or foaming at the mouth, Matthew Labyorteaux never does anything halfway on this show, does he?

MVP GROVESTER: BEST NON-SPEAKING TOWNSPERSON: Mustache Man (“‘Second Spring“)

No fan of this show needs to be schooled about Jack Lilley’s contributions both on- and offscreen. His exchange with Nellie here makes me wish they played roommates in a spinoff.

Runners-up: D.L. Dawson (various), Son of Running Bull (“The Halloween Dream”), Sue Goodspeed (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), The Cowboy in the Buster Scruggs Getup With William Katt Hair (various), The Giddy Mankato Idiot (“The King is Dead”), Not Axl-Rose (various)

WORST NON-SPEAKING TOWNSPERSON: The Unknown Grovester (various)

Say it with me: It had to be somebody, right?

BEST FEATURED TOWNSPERSON: TIE: Roscue/James (“Annabelle,” “‘May We Make Them Proud’”) and Clarence Tilson (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

I don’t know why they renamed De’voreaux White’s character between episodes, since he is clearly playing the same kid in both stories. His performance is wisecracking and fun, and yet he’s also capable of projecting horror as Ketty Lester holds him in her arms and screams.

And where did ya come from, where did ya go, Alan R. Peterson? Funny and sympathetic, his Clarence Tilson proved a Willie Oleson-level scene stealer.

Runners-up: “The Customer” (various), Alice Garvey’s Mother (“Crossed Connections”), Arnie Cupps (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Carl the Flunky (“The King is Dead”), Chad Brewster (“Sweet Sixteen“), Clementina Hyde (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Houston Lamb (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not“), Jimmy Hart (“The King is Dead”), Judge Adams (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), The Lineman for the County (“Crossed Connections”), Minnie Trimble (“Sweet Sixteen”), Mustache Man (“The King is Dead”), Nathan Page (“Silent Promises”), Old Jeremy Tyler (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”), The Efficient Little Bald French Waiter (“Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), The Goofy Old Gent (“The Faith Healer”), The Sassy Old Man at the Downing Tent Revival (“The Faith Healer”), The Foxy Sleepy Eye Saloon Girl (“‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”), Tiny Pebbles (“The Halloween Dream”),

WORST FEATURED TOWNSPERSON: Carrie (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

Poor Carrie; everyone’s so hard on her. But in this story, for once she really deserves it, as she gives away Laura and Albert’s clever plan to the villain like a complete dumbass!

Runners-up: Mr. Crowley (“‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”), Joe Dortmunder (“The Angry Heart”), Dillon Hyde (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Prison Guard #1 (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”), Hans Mueller (“The King is Dead”), Christie Norton (“Annabelle”), Penelope Parker (“Wilder and Wilder”), Florence Garner Platz (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Jeremy Quinn (“The Family Tree,” “‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Bartholomew Slater, Sr. (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”), Almanzo (“Sweet Sixteen”)

MOST WELCOME RETURN (SPECIAL AWARD): Mr. Edwards (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”) 

I can’t really describe the excitement I felt when this story began. Mr. Ed was a key component in the early years of this show, and while Merlin Olsen quickly won us over with his take on the “Pa’s Bestie” concept, when I saw those “Old Dan Tucker”-in’ feet a-dancin’, I felt some essential order had been restored to the universe.

Runners-up: Alicia Sanderson (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), Bunny (“The Halloween Dream”), Captain Howdy (“‘Back to School’”), Grace Snider (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), Hans Dorfler (“The Third Miracle,” “Second Spring”), Jehoshaphat the horse (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”),

MOST TRAGIC RETURN (SPECIAL AWARD): Charlotte Quiner Holbrook (“‘Author! Author!’”)

Ma? Ma? OH NO! A ghastly favorite moment in our house, Caroline’s reunion with her dead mother is handled with all the subtlety of a pie in Ma’s face.

Runners-up: Cowlet (“Second Spring”), Giles Kendall, Esq. (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not“), Jeremy Quinn (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Ned Watkins (“The Third Miracle”), “Old Dan Tucker” (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”)

MOST INTERESTING TRANSFORMATION (SPECIAL AWARD): Nellie (various)

One could argue, and some have, that Nellie Oleson’s transition into adulthood is more gradual and believable than Laura’s. Her flickers of niceness leading up to the finale are like fireflies on a summer night.

Runners-up: Albert (various), Laura (various), Mary’s hair (various), Giles Kendall, Esq. (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”)

CREEPIEST TRANSFORMATION (SPECIAL AWARD): Almanzo (various)

Other metamorphoses? Not so fun. To be fair, Dean Butler plays Almanzo’s, um, burgeoning interest in Laura as innocently as possible, and he nearly pulls it off. But as many people both on the show and in the audience have reported, this May-September love affair was creepy even in 1980, and today’s times have not made us more sympathetic.

BEST CHASE (SPECIAL AWARD): Almanzo pursues the racing buggies (“Wilder and Wilder”)

It’s clear Dean Butler did some of his own riding in the exciting sequence where “Manzo” chases down his sneaky little ferret of a brother. Little House always executes chases well, and this one is a personal favorite.

Runners-up: Laura and Albert are pursued by Indigenous warriors (“The Halloween Dream”)

BEST FIGHT (SPECIAL AWARD): Mary vs Adam (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”)

There was a lot of violence in Season Six, most of it delightful. But perhaps none had the emotional resonance of Mary belting Adam in the mouth during her terrifying mad scene.

Runners-up: Albert attacks Simon Rawlings for calling him a bastard (“The Family Tree”), Almanzo decks Perley Day Wilder (“Wilder and Wilder”), Almanzo attacks Chad Brewster (“Sweet Sixteen“), Andrew Garvey and Penelope Parker assault one another (“Wilder and Wilder”), Alice Garvey slaps Jonathan in the face (“Crossed Connections”), Laura smashes a jug over Jed Brandywine’s head (“‘Darkness is My Friend‘”), Charles breaks a chair on Jake Brandywine’s face (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”), Pa punches out Zaldamo (“‘Back to School’”), Hester-Sue wrestles Adam in the yard (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Laura and Nellie mud-wrestle (“‘Back to School’”), the Class of ’56 reunion melee (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Milo Stavroupolis kicks Big John Garvey’s ass (“The King is Dead”), Mr. Edwards attacks Charles (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), Nellie tries to kill “The Customer” (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”), the Grovester children rip Bartholomew Slater to pieces (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

FUNNIEST BACKGROUND PERFORMANCE IN LITTLE HOUSE HISTORY (SO FAR): Michael Landon (“Annabelle”)

The Academy couldn’t get enough of Pa in this story. There’s an argument to made that Charles Ingalls is really at his best when he’s giggly and silly. It’s a treat that this story doesn’t give him anything more to do than that.

Runners-up: Alison Arngrim (“‘Darkness is My Friend‘”), Dabbs Greer (“Wilder and Wilder”), Charlotte Quiner Holbrook (“‘Author! Author!’”), Michael Landon (“The Halloween Dream”), Dan McBride (various)

MOST SHOCKING MOMENT (SPECIAL AWARD): TIE: Mr. Edwards attempts suicide (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), Pa slaps Laura (“The Return of Mr. Edwards), Pa gets shot in the face (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”), The Baby Battering Ram (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Mary breaks the window with her arms (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Charles catches Nels making out with an Irishwoman (“Second Spring”)

No doubt the Academy wished it could have shared this award amongst all the nominees; it was hard enough to agree on the top six! And yet, everyone with a serious interest in this show knows that above all else, it has the power to shock. I bet none of you reading this need to have what’s happening in the above stills explained to you, which is a true testament to that power.

Runners-up: Albert fakes being blind (“The Family Tree”), Albert finds a human scalp (“The Halloween Dream”), Albert’s baked potatoes explode (“‘Darkness is My Friend‘”), Ma growls at Carrie (“The Third Miracle”), Dillon Hyde slaps his wife (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Jonathan Garvey accuses Alice of “being with” men (“Crossed Connections”), Laura and Albert are crucified (“The Halloween Dream”), Mary and Adam’s stagecoach rolls (“The Third Miracle”), Mr. Penguin Man gets shot in the head (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”), Mrs. Oleson was once engaged to Dean Harmon (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”), Nels forgets Annabelle is his sister and makes fat jokes about Harriet (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not“), Rev. Alden and Mrs. Craig really get married (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”), Rev. Alden yells at Charles (“The Faith Healer”), Rev. Danforth uses a child’s corpse as a prop (“The Faith Healer”), Tod beats up his grandfather (“The Angry Heart”), Almanzo says, “It’s your pa or me, what’s your choice?” (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”)

MOST MACABRELY FUNNY MOMENT (SPECIAL AWARD): Ma and Pa joke about whether they’ll ever become grandparents (“Sweet Sixteen”)

What the fuck, right?

Runners-up: Ma rushes to find her mother dead (“‘Author! Author!‘”)

MOST LASCIVIOUS STARE (SPECIAL AWARD): TIE: Albert (“Wilder and Wilder“), Willie (“Wilder and Wilder”), Penelope Parker (“Wilder and Wilder”)

There was a surprising amount of lascivious staring this season (we saw you, Nurse/Receptionist Johnson).

But the kids with their kooky love triangle were the best, which is even funnier considering Matthew Labyorteaux apparently hated when Albert was called upon to be in love with anybody.

Runners-up: Almanzo (“Sweet Sixteen“), Caroline (“‘Author! Author!’”), Laura (“‘Back to School’”), Molly Reardon (“Second Spring“), Nurse Johnson (“The Family Tree”), Rev. Alden (The Preacher Takes a Wife”), Tiny Pebbles (“The Halloween Dream”)

MOST OBSCENE GESTURES (SPECIAL AWARD): Mustache Man (“‘Author! Author!’”)

Okay, I know he’s done this before, but I missed it. Mustache Man’s pelvic thrust, compared variously to “The Time Warp” and “The Macarena,” is a moment for the ages.

BEST SUBTLE CHANGE OF FACIAL EXPRESSION (SPECIAL AWARD): Bonnie Bartlett (“The Return of Mr. Edwards“)

I’m so glad the proper Mrs. Edwards also returned for this story, and while Grace is not scripted super-well here, Bonnie Bartlett effortlessly recaptures the strength and suffering of this classic character.

Runners-up: Karen Grassle (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Lynn Benesch (Amy Phillips Sawyer, “‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Michael Landon (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), Steve Tracy (“‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”)

BEST COSTUMES (SPECIAL AWARD): Richalene Kelsay and Mike Termini (various)

The costumes on this show are so good it’s easy to take them for granted. But they really dazzled this season, when practically every character got a refresh, and when new Laura Ashley-style country designs appeared again and again.

CLOSEST LITTLE HOUSE WILL EVER GET TO A WET T-SHIRT CONTEST (SPECIAL AWARD): Christie Norton (“Annabelle”)

Poor Christie. Not everyone is made to endure a classic hot-girl humiliation in the midst of a wholesome family entertainment. And she’s in her bloomers!

Runner-ups: Charles (“‘Darkness is My Friend‘”)

HAT OF THE SEASON (SPECIAL AWARD): Tod Dortmunder‘s hat (“The Angry Heart,” “Wilder and Wilder“)

This odd fuzzy hat was so memorable, you can understand why they used it twice.

Runner-up: Laura’s straw hat (“Sweet Sixteen“), Mary’s straw hat (“The Third Miracle“), Mrs. Oleson’s non-straw hat (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”)

SHIRT OF THE SEASON (SPECIAL AWARD): Tod Dortmunder’s shirt (“The Angry Heart”)

Less understandable is why they also used the same shirt for the exact same two characters as well, but it is a nice shirt.

Honorable mention: Tod Dortmunder’s other shirt

DRESS OF THE SEASON (SPECIAL AWARD): Laura’s Glazed-Carrot Dress (“Sweet Sixteen“)

For many fans, Glazed Carrot is the consummate Laura costume, and it certainly is beautiful, even if to my eye it looks like there are little penguins all over it.

Runners-up: Annabelle’s show-and-tell dress (“Annabelle”), Clementina Hyde’s Carmen dress (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Laura’s fire-engine red dress (various), Nellie’s wedding dress (“‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”)

Honorable Mention: Boobilicious 2 (various)

SKINNIEST JEANS (SPECIAL AWARD): Nels (“Second Spring”)

If I told you one of our main Grovesters would become a philanderer dressing in clothes far too young for him, I doubt you’d guess Nels. Actually, I’m not sure who you’d guess.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY FOOD (SPECIAL AWARD): The cinnamon chicken (“Back to School“)

Many fans have tried to recreate this recipe, but surely there’s no topping Nellie’s original, fortified as it was by Laura’s helpful suggestion to add even more cinnamon.

Runners-up: Hans Mueller’s fried chicken (“The King is Dead”)

WORST PERFORMANCE BY FOOD (SPECIAL AWARD): The pickle and sandwich falling out of Prison Guard #1’s mouth (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”)

Nothing but “gag, barf” to say about this.

Runners-up: The barrel of apples (“The Angry Heart”), the chicken innards (“‘Author! Author!’”), Nellie’s eggs (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”), the horsemeat (“The Halloween Dream”), Tod Dortmunder’s lemon pith (“The Angry Heart”), Laura’s thick milk (“Wilder and Wilder”), Mrs. Oleson’s “crisp pancakes” (“‘Back to School’”)

CAKE OF THE YEAR (SPECIAL AWARD): The walnut cake (“The Preacher Takes a Wife,” “‘Author! Author!’”)

I kept waiting for it to be mentioned a third time, but two will have to do for the coveted cake-counting award this season.

Runner-up: The cake that hits Mrs. Oleson in the face (“‘Back to School‘”), the cake Nellie drops on the floor (“Second Spring“)

BEST NON-SEXUAL USE OF POPCORN (SPECIAL AWARD): Mrs. Oleson (“Crossed Connections”)

Once you pop, you can’t stop.

Runners-up: Charles (“‘Darkness is My Friend‘”), Laura and Mary (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”)

BEST FLAILING (SPECIAL AWARD): Caroline (“The Family Tree”)

Karen Grassle, who pretty much always sweeps the flailing events, cut such a wide swath in “The Family Tree,” the camera picked it up from a hundred yards away (or whatever).

Runners-up: Caroline (“‘Author! Author!,’” “Sweet Sixteen“), Mrs. Foster (“The Third Miracle”), Tall Young Man with Brilliant White (If Huge) Teeth Wearing Crazy William Tell Hat (“The King is Dead”)

SCARIEST VILLAIN (SPECIAL AWARD): Jake Brandywine (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”)

This desperate murderer and would-be rapist would score high on any fan’s list of all-time scary Little House villains. But the fact that he wouldn’t take First Place really says something about this show, doesn’t it?

Runners-up: The Reverend Danvers (“The Faith Healer”), Tod Dortmunder (“The Angry Heart”), Hans Mueller (“The King is Dead“), Bartholomew Slater, Jr. (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

BEST GHOST (SPECIAL AWARD): Anna Stavroupolis (“The King is Dead”)

There are always a few ghosts per season, but Mrs. S is one of the more prominent ones so far – and in the classic mode, too. (Unlike some nominees.)

Runners-up: Baby Grace (“The Halloween Dream”), Jack (“‘Author! Author!’”), Spot the Stupid Cow (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”)

MOST “SOUTHERN” ACCENT (SPECIAL AWARD): Stacy Sipes (“Wilder and Wilder”)

Despite Minnesota sharing a border with Canada, Southern accents are frequently heard in the Walnut Grove of this show. And Southern accents don’t get any more Southern than that of Penelope Parker, the annoying but sort of badly treated newcomer to Groveland Middle.

BEST CRYING (SPECIAL AWARD): TIE: Matthew Labyorteaux (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Alison Arngrim (“‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”)

“Think of it,” said our friend and panelist Daisy of Matthew L in “‘May We Make Them Proud.'” “He’s the best crier on a show where the competition includes Michael Landon.” It’s true; so true that in fact, he’s been unbeaten in this category since joining the cast.

But not untied! Because he wasn’t the only recognizee this year. In a single moment, Alison Arngrim shows us a Nellie we’ve never seen before – not screaming, not ranting, not crying crocodile tears . . . just putting her head down and quietly weeping. Brava, La Stupenda.

Runners-up: Brenda and Wendi Turnbaugh (“Annabelle”), Charles Bloom (“Wilder and Wilder”), Karen Grassle (“‘Author! Author!’”, “‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56’”), Linwood Boomer (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Lucy Lee Flippin (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”), Matthew Labyorteaux (“The Family Tree”), Melissa Gilbert (“The Family Tree”), Melissa Sue Anderson (“‘Darkness is My Friend,'” “‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Michael Landon (“The Family Tree,” “‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Merlin Olsen (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”)

BEST SCREAMING (SPECIAL AWARD): TIE: Melissa Sue Anderson (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Matthew Labyorteaux (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Ketty Lester (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Hersha Parady (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”)

Another very competitive category each year. So competitive, in fact, that the Groovy Academy shared the award amongst these four stars of “‘May We Make Them Proud,'” one of this show’s all-time screamiest.

Runners-up: Melissa Sue Anderson (“The Third Miracle,” “‘Darkness is My Friend‘”), Alison Arngrim (“Crossed Connections”), Dean Butler (“Wilder and Wilder”), Karen Grassle (“‘Author! Author!’”), Kevin Hagen (“Wilder and Wilder”), Katherine MacGregor (“‘Back to School,’” “Crossed Connections”)

Honorable mention: Alison Arngrim (“‘Back to School’”)

FUNNIEST OLESON FAMILY HUMILIATION (SPECIAL AWARD): Percival dumps eggs over Nellie’s head (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”)

This category saw even more nominations than usual this year, from the dramatic (“The Preacher Takes a Wife,” “”Second Spring“) to the horrific (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”) to the slapstick (everything else). But like a couple from a forties screwball comedy, Angrim and Tracy have a chemistry that shines through even an egg wash.

Runners-up: Harriet gets hit by the sheet (“‘Back to School’”), Harriet gets hit in the face with the cake (“‘Back to School’”), the toilet explodes on Harriet (“The Family Tree”), Harriet and Nellie are stung by bees (“The Third Miracle”), Reverend Alden’s boss turns out to be Harriet’s ex-boyfriend (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”), the cinnamon chicken horror (“‘Back to School’”), Laura tries to drown Nellie (“‘Back to School’”), Nellie is blamed for starting a war with the Dakota (“The Halloween Dream”), Nellie runs face-first into a wall (“Crossed Connections”), Charles catches Nels making out with an Irishwoman (“Second Spring“), the Harriet Oleson Institute for the Advancement of Blind Children burns down and gets renamed (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”)

BEST MUSICAL OR SPOKEN-WORD PERFORMANCE (SPECIAL AWARD): Melissa Sue Anderson (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”)

Given her struggles with “Keep the Horseshoe Over Your Door” in “There’s No Place Like Home,” the Academy was pleased to give this year’s award to MSA, who nailed the famous lullaby not just once, but six or seven or eight times!

Runners-up: Richard Bull (“Darkness is My Friend”), Ketty Lester (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”)

WORST MUSICAL OR SPOKEN-WORD PERFORMANCE (SPECIAL AWARD): Nellie vocalizing (“‘Darkness is My Friend‘”)

I don’t think there’s any need to describe this one in detail, is there? Nellie’s delightfully terrible acting is reminiscent of her delightfully terrible acting in “Little Women,” and you should just do yourself a favor and go watch either episode right now.

Runner-up: Sue Goodspeed’s ripoff prayer (“‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”), Bart Slater rapping “Lazy, Lousy Eliza Jane” (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”)

BEST DANCE (SPECIAL AWARD): Albert and Eliza Jane (“Sweet Sixteen”)

Nels and The Jigging Reardons may have shown more technical skill, but you’ll agree the shining delight felt by Eliza Jane and Albert at the church social gives their modest dance more meaning.

Runner-up: Mr. Edwards (“The Return of Mr. Edwards“), Nels and Molly Reardon (“Second Spring”), Molly Reardon and her da  (“Second Spring”)

BEST KISSING: Nellie and Percival (“‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”)

For a family show with a squeaky-clean reputation, Little House makes healthy nods to sex and sexuality quite frequently. Some of the best of these came from the in-real-life-sexually-incompatible Alison Arngrim and Steve Tracy, though I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say they remind me of “crazed weasels fucking,” as one NBC executive allegedly said.

Runners-up: Adam and Mary (“‘Darkness is My Friend‘”), Baby Grace and The Kid With Very Red Hair (Toddler One) (“‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”), Charles and Caroline (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56‘”), the Stavroupolae (“The King is Dead“), Mr. Edwards and Grace (“The Return of Mr. Edwards“), Harriet and Nels (“The Family Tree“), Reverend Alden and Anna Craig (“The Preacher Takes a Wife“)

WORST KISSING: Nels and Molly Reardon (“Second Spring“)

Out-of-character, and sort of technically unsatisfying too.

Runners-up: Daniel Page (“Silent Promises“), Almanzo and Laura (“Annabelle,” “Sweet Sixteen,” “‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”)

BEST SCENE-STEALING: TIE: Nellie (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”) and Willie (“Second Spring“)

Scene stealers since their very first story, these two haven’t lost their touch. In particular, Alison Arngrim somehow brings depth and meaning to Nellie’s fright when she walks in on Mary mutilating herself. We’ve never seen Nellie Oleson truly terrified before. (No, “The Monster of Walnut Grove” does not count.)

And Jonathan Gilbert, of course, is Jonathan Gilbert. The master.

Runners-up: Sue Goodspeed (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Clementina Hyde (“‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56”), Son of Running Bull (“The Halloween Dream”), Eliza Jane (“Silent Promises”)

MOST MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE (SPECIAL AWARD): Anna Craig Alden (“The Faith Healer“)

One of the most pervasive Little House mysteries, Anna Alden’s disappearance may never be fully understood. Something happened to her during that visit to her sister . . . but what?

Runners-up: Almanzo and Eliza Jane in the aftermath of the fire (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Jonathan Garvey (“Wilder and Wilder“), the Brewster-Davenports (“The Angry Heart“), Clarence Tilson (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove“), Matthew Dodds (“The Faith Healer“), the Mayses (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), the Pages (“Silent Promises“), the Parkers (“Wilder and Wilder”), the Slaters (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove“), the students, faculty and staff of the Harriet Oleson Institute for the Advancement of Blind Children when a man who can cure blindness comes to town (“The Faith Healer“), Mary and Adam from Baby Adam’s bedroom during the fire (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”)

STRANGEST CAMEO (SPECIAL AWARD): The Ghost of Spot the Cow (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”)

The last thing I expected to see in a Season Six story was Spot, the miserably stupid, long-dead cow sort of responsible for Ma’s brush with amputation in “A Matter of Faith.” And yet there she was again, acting as an omen of doom in this suspenseful thriller.

Runners-up: Mr. Edwards and Doc Baker approaching Chicago by rowboat (“The Angry Heart”), the Ghost of Jack following the Chonkywagon yet again (“‘Author! Author!’”), Nellie Oleson playing/watching Three O’Cat (“‘Author! Author!’”), Ben Slick’s Identical Twin Who’s Been Workin’ on the Railroad (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”)

SADDEST UNDERUSE (SPECIAL AWARD): Andrew Garvey

I know I am not alone in resenting Little House’s criminal underuse of Patrick Labyorteaux this season. Sometimes eclipsed in the popular imagination by his brother Matthew, Patrick is a powerhouse performer who proves in stories like last season’s “The Cheaters” and “Barn Burner” that he’s up for any acting challenge. And yet for much of Season Six, he’s treated as a glorified extra. A true pity.

Runners-up: Alice and Jonathan Garvey, Caroline, Mary

BEST PERFORMANCE (GUEST CAST): TIE: Harriet Gibson (Annabelle Oleson, “Annabelle”) and Steve Tracy (Percival, “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”)

Fans debate whether Little House dilutes its core narrative with its frequent side stories about non-Ingallses. But I think the show’s ability to create memorable one-off characters is an under-discussed strength. Watching “Annabelle” under the magnifying glass of our process, I was impressed by Del Reisman’s script, but it’s Harriet Gibson’s performance that brings this magnificent character to life. A woman of strength, vulnerability and wisdom, Annabelle wouldn’t exist without Gibson’s perfect performance, which breathes life into one of the most multifaceted minor characters in the series’ history.

And what can we say about Steve Tracy? Only that it’s impossible to imagine anyone else in the role of Percival, a fierce little bantam rooster (and one who lays eggs!). His ability to withstand the chaos of the Oleson family is so strong he decides to join it. With wit, tenderness, just enough snark, and perfect chemistry with his leading lady, Tracy in a single story makes Percival a character we want to see more of, immediately.

Runners-up: Malcolm Atterbury (Brewster Davenport, “The Angry Heart”), Charles Bloom (Perley Day Wilder, “Wilder and Wilder”), Alban Branton (Daniel Page, “Silent Promises”), Royal Dano (Harold, “Crossed Connections”), Lou Fant (Nathan Page, “Silent Promises”), Susan French (Virginia Davenport, “The Angry Heart”), Leo Gordon (Milo Stavroupolis, “The King is Dead”),  Iris Korn (Anna Craig, “The Preacher Takes a Wife”), James Olson (the Reverend Danforth,“The Faith Healer”), William Schallert (Dean Harmon, “The Preacher Takes a Wife”)

WORST PERFORMANCE (GUEST CAST): Barry Sullivan (Frederick Holbrook, “‘Author! Author!’”)

I’m sure Barry Sullivan, like most Little House guest stars, had dozens of excellent performances under his belt by the time he came to our show. But if there is a greater humanity to this foolish and obnoxious character who can’t shut up about himself, he didn’t find it.

CRAZIEST GOOD/BAD PERFORMANCE (SPECIAL AWARD): Timothy Wead (Tod Dortmunder, “The Angry Heart”)

On the other hand, Timothy Wead does find depths in the surly, violent Tod. Small touches like thanking his grandfather for the gift of a shaving kit or surprising Pa with his humor make this abused young man a complex character.

And yet, somebody seems to have encouraged him to pull out all the stops in his screaming, crying confrontation with Pa. (I wonder who!) In the final act, he pushes it a little too far.

Runners-up: Philip Carey (Commander Kaiser, “The Halloween Dream”), Michael Landon (“The Angry Heart,” “‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Katherine MacGregor (various)

FIERIEST DEATH (SPECIAL AWARD): TIE: Alice Garvey and Baby Adam (“‘May We Make Them Proud‘”)

This was not a terribly competitive category this year, and Alice and Baby Adam easily triumphed over their foodstuff rivals. (Yay?)

Runners-up: Albert’s potatoes (“‘Darkness is My Friend’”), Nellie’s pies (“‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”), Nels’s beef tongue (“Second Spring”)

BEST PERFORMANCE (RECURRING CAST): TIE: Alison Arngrim (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”), Richard Bull (“Annabelle”), Lucy Lee Flippin (“The Werewolf of Walnut Grove”), Victor French (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), Dabbs Greer (“The Faith Healer”), Matthew Labyorteaux (“May We Make Them Proud’”), Ketty Lester (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Katherine MacGregor (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”), Merlin Olsen (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”)

Never before have we seen a nine-way split in any Groovy category, and yet a review of the votes shows there could have been even more! Even though Melissa Sue Anderson was the only cast member to be nominated for an Emmy during the show’s original run, it is hard to imagine a show with a stronger ensemble cast. I’d rate these folks against anybody, and personally, I’m very happy the Academy decided to hand out extra Groovies this year.

Runners-up: Alison Arngrim (“‘Back to School,’” “Wilder and Wilder”), Bonnie Bartlett (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”), Linwood Boomer (“The Third Miracle,” “‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Richard Bull (“‘Author! Author!,’” “Second Spring”), Dean Butler (“‘Back to School,’” “Wilder and Wilder,” “Sweet Sixteen,” “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”), Lucy Lee Flippin (“Sweet Sixteen”), Jonathan Gilbert (“Second Spring”), Dabbs Greer (“The Preacher Takes a Wife”), Kevin Hagen (“‘May We Make Them Proud,’” “The Faith Healer,” “Wilder and Wilder”), Matthew Labyorteaux (“The Family Tree”), Patrick Labyorteaux (“Crossed Connections,” “‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Katherine MacGregor (“‘Back to School,’” “The Third Miracle,” “Annabelle,” “Second Spring”), Merlin Olsen (“Crossed Connections”), Hersha Parady (“Crossed Connections,” “‘May We Make Them Proud‘”), Kyle Richards (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”)

MAIN CAST OR SPECIAL GUEST STAR? (SPECIAL AWARD): Melissa Sue Anderson (various)

It may surprise you to learn Mary is my favorite Little House on the Prairie character. After all, a Google search on the terms “Walnut Groovy” and “Stupid Mary” brings up seven pages of results.

But more than any other character, perhaps, Mary Ingalls is the show. Decent, hardworking, kind, capable, very intelligent, good in a crisis . . . and for some reason worthy of every torture the demons of the writers’ room could think up for her. Bullied, assaulted, attacked by mad dogs, kidnapped at gunpoint (twice), kicked by horses, sawed open on the operating table, cheated on, terrorized by a cult leader, blinded (three times, if you count “Four Eyes” and “The Enchanted Cottage“), made to suffer a miscarriage, nearly raped, forced to endure the screams of her only child as he dies a violent death, and finally pushed to the brink of madness by grief. Little House is positive, wholesome, family entertainment, yes . . . but it is underpinned by a darkness and chaos best embodied by a single figure, who like St. Sebastian is pierced by arrow after arrow and yet lives on: Mary.

Michael Landon wisely tested Melissa Sue Anderson with “The Award” and found she was up for anything. And she does have some great performances in Season Six . . . but they’re all of the “screaming Mad Scene Mary” variety. The writers seem to have lost interest in showing the character at her complicated, flawed best, like she was in “The Award,” “The Handyman,” and other scripts.

And so we get a season of stories where Mary is, for the most part, missing in action. She and everyone else from the Blind School are inexplicably absent when Reverend Danforth comes to town claiming to cure blindness, and yet she’s barely a presence outside of “‘May We Make Them Proud,'” “‘Darkness‘” and “The Third Miracle.” Was it because the character was blind and limited in her ability to engage in plots as easily as she once had? Was MSA’s interest in the role flagging due to lame scripts? Probably a combination, but for the greatest, most complicated of the main characters to be handled this way is shameful. She didn’t even get a story to follow up on Mary’s wellbeing after “‘Make Them Proud‘”!

Well, nothing anybody can do about it now, of course. But Melissa A, we certainly missed you this season.

BEST PERFORMANCE (MAIN CAST): TIE: Melissa Sue Anderson (“‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Karen Grassle (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”), Melissa Gilbert (“He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”), Michael Landon (“The Return of Mr. Edwards”)

The four principals shone as usual this year. As I mentioned, Melissa Sue Anderson didn’t get much more to do than scream, holler and go crazy, but her performance in “‘Make Them Proud‘” is iconic and immortal.

Caroline is a chronically underwritten character, but Karen Grassle makes the most of her in “‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not,'” suggesting Ma’s relationship with Laura is strong and true and yet somehow more delicate than those of the rest of the family.

For her part, Melissa Gilbert proves that despite her youth, she was ready to move into adult storylines. Her performance in “‘He Loves Me‘” is moving, and as committed to a character as it gets.

And Michael Landon projects horror and disbelief to the point of panic when Charles finds the best friend he ever had attempting the unthinkable. It’s one of his finest performances.

Runners-up: Melissa Sue Anderson (“The Third Miracle,” “‘Darkness is My Friend’”), Melissa Gilbert (“‘Back to School,’” “The Family Tree,” “The Return of Mr. Edwards,” “Silent Promises,” “Sweet Sixteen”), Karen Grassle (“‘Back to School,’” “The Family Tree,” “The Third Miracle,” “‘Author! Author!’”, “‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56,’” “‘May We Make Them Proud’”), Michael Landon (“‘Back to School,’” “The Family Tree,” “Annabelle,” “The Angry Heart,” “‘Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56,’” “Wilder and Wilder,” “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not”)

WORST PERFORMANCE (MAIN CAST): Michael Landon (“The Faith Healer”)

Little House, of course, always serves plenty of ham every year, and not just at Eastertide. This time Landon gets the booby prize for his pompous ranting before a crowd of Rev. Danforth’s faithful.

Runners-up: Melissa Sue Anderson (“‘Author! Author!’”, “‘He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not‘”), Melissa Gilbert (“‘Author! Author!’”), Matthew Labyorteaux (“Author! Author!“), Michael Landon (“The Angry Heart“)

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD (SPECIAL AWARD): Hersha Parady, Bonnie Bartlett, James Jeter

These Lifetime Achievement Groovies always make me sad! This year we say goodbye to Hersha Parady, who made Alice Garvey as complex a character as any we meet on this show; Bonnie Bartlett, whose Grace Snider was not always easy to like but whose acting was easy to love; and James Jeter, whose rubbery face and affability made Dorfler one of the show’s more memorable Grovesters. Wonderful performances, and wonderful service to our show.

And now, for the biggest prizes of the night.

FIVE BEST STORIES:

#5: The Third Miracle

It was a very tight race for this spot, but “The Third Miracle” wowed the Academy with its thrills, scares, and an over-the-top star turn from Melissa Sue.

#4: Annabelle

A touching, humane drama that utterly transcends its silly premise, this one got a standing ovation from the Academy. It’s said that every Little House gets better on repeat viewings, but this one really does. 

#3: “‘Darkness is My Friend‘”

In our house, the dark and scary Little House stories are favorites, and so it was with the Walnut Groovy Academy in 1980. A clever riff on “The Aftermath,” “The Wolves,” and “The Bully Boys,” “‘Darkness‘” is plenty scary and a great watch on a stormy night.

#2: The Family Tree

An underdog amongst this show’s Big Classics, “The Family Tree” is as clever as it is emotional, and the Academy determined it must be celebrated.

#1: “May We Make Them Proud“

Our family waited quite impatiently to get to this story, a blend of horror and heart that triggers a kind of natural high in the viewer. Everybody involved in making it should be proud indeed. And for heaven’s sake, DON’T SMOKE.

FIVE WORST STORIES:

#5: Sweet Sixteen

Laura and Manly are one of the most central Little House couples, and yet the Academy felt mostly distaste and disappointment at their long-anticipated hookup.

#4: The Werewolf of Walnut Grove

Some of the individual elements of this story are incredibly strong, but that only makes the odd way they’re put together come as more of a letdown.

#3: “Author! Author!“

One of our panel loves the coffin scene so much, she rated this her number-one choice (good grief!); but it gets my vote for the worst. As for the Academy, they collectively experienced it as Little House at its most tedious.

#2: Second Spring

Everyone in our family hated this attempt to deepen one of the show’s most beloved characters, and the Academy apparently felt the same.

#1: The Halloween Dream

My arguments a) that satire is sort of inherently offensive and b) that viewed in that light “The Halloween Dream” really isn’t as bad as its reputation suggests went completely unheard in our house. It would appear the exact same thing happened in 1980. This is one everybody skips, and you know what? There’s really no harm in that.

Thank you, reader, for joining us in the Walnut Groovyverse – a satellite of the Little House on the Prairie Universe, but I hope a sufficiently distinct one that helps keep this show fun and alive. As always, it’s my pleasure to share the full list of our family’s aggregated rankings below. As the attendees head to the Gold Room lounge the after-party, I’ll bid you goodnight from the Thunderbird, and see you back here for Season SEVEN!

1. “May We Make Them Proud“
2. The Family Tree
3. “Darkness is My Friend“
4. Annabelle
5. The Third Miracle
6. The Preacher Takes a Wife
7. “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not“
8. The Return of Mr. Edwards
9. “Back to School“
10. The King is Dead
11. The Angry Heart
12. The Faith Healer 
13. Crossed Connections
14. Wilder and Wilder
15. Silent Promises
16. “Whatever Happened to the Class of ’56“
17. Sweet Sixteen
18. The Werewolf of Walnut Grove
19. “Author! Author!”
20. Second Spring
21. The Halloween Dream

UP NEXT: “Laura Ingalls Wilder” (Part One)