“May We Make Them Proud” (Part Two)

The Nineteenth-Century Betty Hazelden; or Nellie, You’re Letting This Place Go to the Dogs (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “May We Make Them Proud” [sic] Airdate: February 4, 1980 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY: Mary has lost her marbles with grief, so the show locks her in a hotel room to focusContinue reading ““May We Make Them Proud” (Part Two)”

“Darkness is My Friend”

A House Call From Chuck Baker; or Does Pa Sneak Some Morphine Home for Albert? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Darkness is My Friend” [sic] Airdate: January 21, 1980 Written by Vince R. Gutierrez Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When the Blind School is invaded by murderers, Mary, Laura, and PaContinue reading ““Darkness is My Friend””

The Angry Heart

Yes, Virginia, Our Grandson is an Asshole; or Hester-Sue Would Rock the Shit Out of This Song (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Angry Heart Airdate: December 17, 1979 Written by Del Reisman Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Therapy Charles has to cure a guy who’s addicted to beating up hisContinue reading “The Angry Heart”

The Return of Mr. Edwards

The California Ibex; or Old Dan Fuck Yourself (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Return of Mr. Edwards Airdate: November 5, 1979 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A beloved comic-relief character returns to this heartwarming family show and immediately attempts suicide. RECAP:  RAJA: You guys have aContinue reading “The Return of Mr. Edwards”

The Halloween Dream

Son of Mustache Man!; or You Give Ugg a Bad Name (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Halloween Dream Airdate: October 29, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon EDITOR’S NOTE: Literally everything about this episode is offensive. (Well, almost.) SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In what’s regarded by many as the worst Little HouseContinue reading “The Halloween Dream”

Mortal Mission

Much Ado About Mutton; or Selling Poison Meat to Blind Orphans? What Kind of Show Is This? (a recap by Will Kaiser – Menz Weekend edition) Title: Mortal Mission Airdate: March 12, 1979 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Half the town nearly dies of anthrax, andContinue reading “Mortal Mission”

Barn Burner

Look How Mad His Butt Is; or Hit Him With the Moose Head! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Barn Burner Airdate: February 19, 1979 Written by Don Balluck Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: After the Barn of Garve burns down (again), the rule of law finally comes to Walnut Grove.  DarkContinue reading “Barn Burner”

The Lake Kezia Monster

Ahoy, Magnificent Kezia!; or The Mercantile is Gonna Lose So Much Money This Summer (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Lake Kezia Monster Airdate: February 12, 1979 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Inspired by Kezia’s stories, Laura, Albert and Andy orchestrate a campaign of terror againstContinue reading “The Lake Kezia Monster”

Blind Journey, Part Two

Joe Versus the Volcano; or “How Do I Look?” “Like You’re Gonna Kill a Baby and Alice Garvey, Now Go to Bed.” (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Blind Journey, Part Two Airdate: December 4, 1978 Written by John T. Dugan Story by Carole Raschella, Michael Raschella, and John T. Dugan Directed by William F.Continue reading “Blind Journey, Part Two”

Men Will Be Boys

Men II Boyz; or I Just Can’t Quit You, David Rose (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Men Will Be Boys Airdate: November 13, 1978 Written by Don Balluck Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: As a prank/lesson, Charles and Garvey send their sons on a camping adventure; but they’re the onesContinue reading “Men Will Be Boys”