Journey in the Spring, Part One

La La Lansford; or Can You Imagine CHARLES INGALLS is Your Fucking Brother? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Journey in the Spring, Part One Airdate: November 15, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: We meet Charles’s parents, and, like the good Little House characters they are, they immediately goContinue reading “Journey in the Spring, Part One”

The Monster of Walnut Grove

All Work and No Play Makes Nels a Dull Boy; or Sworded Scheme (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Monster of Walnut Grove Airdate: November 1, 1976 Written by John Hawkins Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A Halloween special! Nels loses his marbles and Mrs. Oleson loses her head inContinue reading “The Monster of Walnut Grove”

Little Girl Lost

Caaaaarrriiiiiieeeeeeeee!; or She’s Fine, She Can Barely Speak, Same as Always (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Little Girl Lost Airdate: October 18, 1976 Written by Paul W. Cooper Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s the one where Carrie falls in the well. Meanwhile, Mr. Hanson battles an old enemy for theContinue reading “Little Girl Lost”

The Race

Half This Episode is Fat-Shaming Twelve-Year-Olds (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Race Airdate: October 11, 1976 Written by John V. Hanrahan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie and Laura are the only two contestants in an annual Hero Township-wide horse race, if you can believe that. RECAP: Bummer ofContinue reading “The Race”

Bunny

Fucking Bunny, Man; or Would They Really Hang a Child on This Show? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Bunny Airdate: October 4, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Animal abuse escalates the Laura/Nellie war. RECAP: Fucking “Bunny,” man! All hands on deck, let’s do it! We open with aContinue reading “Bunny”

The Collection

The Murder of Mary Ingalls; or He’s Getting Ten Years of Songs Out of This One Episode (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Collection Airdate: September 27, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Aldi becomes the victim of kidnapping and identity theft when he encounters some unethicalContinue reading “The Collection”

Soldier’s Return

Whip It Sad; or Six Degrees of Granville Whipple (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Soldier’s Return Airdate: March 24, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL:  Almost in time for Mother’s Day (and Fentanyl Awareness Day), we meet Mrs. Whipple’s son Granville, who loses his life toContinue reading “Soldier’s Return”

The Runaway Caboose

Throw Carl From the Train!; or Throw Mary From the Train (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Runaway Caboose Airdate: February 11, 1976 Written by John Hawkins Story by Ernie Durham Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A runaway caboose. RECAP:  DAGNY: While you were gone we watched two of theContinue reading “The Runaway Caboose”

His Father’s Son

I’m Un-Adopting You; or HOLY SHIT A BEAR!!!!! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: His Father’s Son Airdate: January 7, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Macho Mr. Edwards and sissy John Junior struggle to understand each other, and HOLY SHIT A BEAR!!!!! [UPDATE: It’s been three and a halfContinue reading “His Father’s Son”

“Remember Me,” Part Two

The Burden of Being Charles Ingalls; or I’ll Be Brokering an Adoption Deal as You Drive Away (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Remember Me” [sic]: Part 2 Airdate: November 12, 1975 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When Charles is appointed Vice President of Orphan Affairs, he pisses off everybodyContinue reading ““Remember Me,” Part Two”