“Author! Author!”

I Call Cash On the Bullshit; or “Awful! Awful!” (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Author! Author!” [sic] Airdate: November 26, 1979 Written by Carole and Michael Raschella Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In a shocking twist, Grandma Holbrook suddenly dies! Then, in a boring twist, Charles helps her husband publishContinue reading ““Author! Author!””

The King is Dead

Milo Meatloaf; or Charles’s Head is Disappearing Into His Hair (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The King is Dead Airdate: November 12, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s a clash of the titans when amateur wrestler Jonathan Garvey turns pro. RECAP: First things first, very sad to hearContinue reading “The King is Dead”

Annabelle

Nels Into Darkness; or The Flying Zaldamos (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Annabelle Airdate: October 15, 1979 Written by Del Reisman Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s another tale of fat-shaming, cruelty, and soul-sickness as Nels’s estranged sister comes to town . . . with the circus. [UPDATE: It cameContinue reading “Annabelle”

The Family Tree

Pin a Heart-Shaped Apron to Your Boobs, You’re Sure to Get a Husband; or Walnut Steamy? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Family Tree Airdate: October 1, 1979 Written by Vincent R. Gutierrez Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When his biological father surfaces, Albert devises a twisted strategy to getContinue reading “The Family Tree”

“Back to School,” Part One

Love is a Manly Splendored Thing; or Flippin’ Awesome (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Back to School” [sic], Part One Airdate: September 17, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Walnut Grove experiences an outbreak of immortal TV moments when a grown man named Almanzo Wilder comes to town. RECAP:Continue reading ““Back to School,” Part One”

“Someone Please Love Me”

She Want That Cookie Real Bad; or At Least She Doesn’t Have to Worry About Internet Brain Rot and AI (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Someone Please Love Me” [sic] Airdate: March 5, 1979 Written by Michael Landon Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In this Chuck-only episode, Charles ignites lust inContinue reading ““Someone Please Love Me””

“Dance With Me”

Oh Noes!!; or Pa’s Chest is the Perfect Roast-Chicken Color (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Dance With Me” [sic] Airdate: January 22, 1979 Written by Paul Wolff Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Toby Noe is captured and extradited to Walnut Grove, where he falls in love. RECAP: No time for aContinue reading ““Dance With Me””

Blind Man’s Bluff

Bad Acrobat-itude; or If You Don’t Like That Ending, Blame God (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Blind Man’s Bluff Airdate: January 15, 1979 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: You may experience déjà vu as the show reimagines a previous episode. See if you can guess which one.Continue reading “Blind Man’s Bluff”

The Craftsman

This Might Be the Oldest Person Charles Has Ever Been Fatherly To; or The Acorn Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Craftsman Airdate: January 8, 1979 Written by Paul Wolff Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Another Albert one: This time, he apprentices to an aphorism-spoutingContinue reading “The Craftsman”

Men Will Be Boys

Men II Boyz; or I Just Can’t Quit You, David Rose (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Men Will Be Boys Airdate: November 13, 1978 Written by Don Balluck Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: As a prank/lesson, Charles and Garvey send their sons on a camping adventure; but they’re the onesContinue reading “Men Will Be Boys”