“May We Make Them Proud” (Part Two)

The Nineteenth-Century Betty Hazelden; or Nellie, You’re Letting This Place Go to the Dogs (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “May We Make Them Proud” [sic] Airdate: February 4, 1980 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY: Mary has lost her marbles with grief, so the show locks her in a hotel room to focusContinue reading ““May We Make Them Proud” (Part Two)”

“May We Make Them Proud” (Part One)

“She’ll Be Fine”; or Mary’s Baby Was Ugly . . . But Not Too Ugly to Live! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “May We Make Them Proud” [sic] Airdate: February 4, 1980 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: [screams uncontrollably] RECAP: We live in bad times, everybody. We’re down inContinue reading ““May We Make Them Proud” (Part One)”

Crossed Connections

When Harry Met Allie; or Girls Just Want to Have Phone (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Crossed Connections Airdate: December 10, 1979 Written by Don Balluck Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Scandal rocks Hero Township when switchboard operator Mrs. Oleson learns a Grovester’s dark secret. (I won’t tell you who itContinue reading “Crossed Connections”

“Author! Author!”

I Call Cash On the Bullshit; or “Awful! Awful!” (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Author! Author!” [sic] Airdate: November 26, 1979 Written by Carole and Michael Raschella Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In a shocking twist, Grandma Holbrook suddenly dies! Then, in a boring twist, Charles helps her husband publishContinue reading ““Author! Author!””

The Faith Healer

The Banality of Evil; or Total Eclipse of the Appendix (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Faith Healer Airdate: November 19, 1979 Written by Don Balluck Directed by Maury Dexter SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Another Reverend Alden one. This time, Dabbs gets to flex his acting muscles when Aldi is challenged by a rivalContinue reading “The Faith Healer”

The King is Dead

Milo Meatloaf; or Charles’s Head is Disappearing Into His Hair (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The King is Dead Airdate: November 12, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s a clash of the titans when amateur wrestler Jonathan Garvey turns pro. RECAP: First things first, very sad to hearContinue reading “The King is Dead”

The Return of Mr. Edwards

The California Ibex; or Old Dan Fuck Yourself (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Return of Mr. Edwards Airdate: November 5, 1979 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A beloved comic-relief character returns to this heartwarming family show and immediately attempts suicide. RECAP:  RAJA: You guys have aContinue reading “The Return of Mr. Edwards”

The Family Tree

Pin a Heart-Shaped Apron to Your Boobs, You’re Sure to Get a Husband; or Walnut Steamy? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Family Tree Airdate: October 1, 1979 Written by Vincent R. Gutierrez Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When his biological father surfaces, Albert devises a twisted strategy to getContinue reading “The Family Tree”

The Odyssey

How Do They Get the Body Back to Walnut Grove, in a Backpack?; or He Was Just Doing His Job, Chuck! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Odyssey  Airdate: March 19, 1979 Written by Carole and Michael Raschella Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: This week’s summary is a direct quote fromContinue reading “The Odyssey”

Mortal Mission

Much Ado About Mutton; or Selling Poison Meat to Blind Orphans? What Kind of Show Is This? (a recap by Will Kaiser – Menz Weekend edition) Title: Mortal Mission Airdate: March 12, 1979 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Half the town nearly dies of anthrax, andContinue reading “Mortal Mission”