The Family Tree

Pin a Heart-Shaped Apron to Your Boobs, You’re Sure to Get a Husband; or Walnut Steamy? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Family Tree Airdate: October 1, 1979 Written by Vincent R. Gutierrez Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When his biological father surfaces, Albert devises a twisted strategy to getContinue reading “The Family Tree”

“Back to School,” Part Two

Welcome to the Grove, Zaldamo; or Here’s Mud in Your Eye (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Back to School” [sic], Part Two Airdate: September 24, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In the aftermath of the cinnamon-chicken holocaust, Laura gets punked, Nellie gets slimed, and Almanzo gets a knuckleContinue reading ““Back to School,” Part Two”

The Odyssey

How Do They Get the Body Back to Walnut Grove, in a Backpack?; or He Was Just Doing His Job, Chuck! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Odyssey  Airdate: March 19, 1979 Written by Carole and Michael Raschella Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: This week’s summary is a direct quote fromContinue reading “The Odyssey”

“Someone Please Love Me”

She Want That Cookie Real Bad; or At Least She Doesn’t Have to Worry About Internet Brain Rot and AI (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Someone Please Love Me” [sic] Airdate: March 5, 1979 Written by Michael Landon Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In this Chuck-only episode, Charles ignites lust inContinue reading ““Someone Please Love Me””

The Cheaters

Oh Andy, You Came and Got A’s Without Studying; or In Season Four I Was The Boy (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Cheaters Airdate: November 20, 1978 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Andrew Garvey falls into Nellie’s clutches when she volunteers to tutor him. RECAP:Continue reading “The Cheaters”

“I Remember, I Remember”

Caroline Ingalls, Piece of Work; or Did He Make That Out of Rabbit Poop? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “I Remember, I Remember” [sic] Airdate: January 23, 1978 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: On her wedding anniversary, Caroline recalls the days when Charles was played byContinue reading ““I Remember, I Remember””

The Music Box

Desire Begets Punishment; or Head Games (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Music Box Airdate: March 14, 1977 Written by Robert Janes Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie engages in psychological warfare, blackmailing Laura and torturing a girl with a speech impediment. Then Laura is hanged to death. In other words,Continue reading “The Music Box”

I─── Kid

EDITOR’S WARNING (HE BEGAN DEFENSIVELY . . .) This recap features semi-fictional characters (at best) who use racist language in the context of a strongly anti-racist storyline and is rated 13+.    Grandpa Stokes is Not Alright; or Life Ain’t Easy for a Boy Named Spotted Eagle (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: I─── Kid Airdate:Continue reading “I─── Kid”

Journey in the Spring, Part One

La La Lansford; or Can You Imagine CHARLES INGALLS is Your Fucking Brother? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Journey in the Spring, Part One Airdate: November 15, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: We meet Charles’s parents, and, like the good Little House characters they are, they immediately goContinue reading “Journey in the Spring, Part One”

The Monster of Walnut Grove

All Work and No Play Makes Nels a Dull Boy; or Sworded Scheme (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Monster of Walnut Grove Airdate: November 1, 1976 Written by John Hawkins Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A Halloween special! Nels loses his marbles and Mrs. Oleson loses her head inContinue reading “The Monster of Walnut Grove”