“Be My Friend”

Creek to Nowhere; or They Wouldn’t Just Give it to Some Rando Jezebel (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Be My Friend” [sic] Airdate: January 30, 1978 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Tortured by her insane dad, a sad girl abandons her baby; but TV’s most meddlesome father/daughter duo intervenes.Continue reading ““Be My Friend””

Whisper Country

What the Fuck Country (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Whisper Country Airdate: January 16, 1978 Written by John Hawkins Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Deeply weird even by this show’s standards, this one is a strange tale of witch vs bitch. RECAP: First off, I’m very happy to announce that ourContinue reading “Whisper Country”

The Rivals

APPLE BOOBS (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Rivals Airdate: January 9, 1978 Written by John T. Dugan Story by Hindi Brooks and John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Saddened by her lack of, um, “development,” Laura turns to the produce department for help. Meanwhile, Charles and GarveyContinue reading “The Rivals”

The Fighter

The Strongest Smaller Person in Walnut Grove; or You Know, I’ve Never Been With a Black Man Before (a recap by Will Kaiser) EDITOR’S WARNING: This episode contains racist language and images of (barely) covered human penises. Thank you. Title: The Fighter Airdate: November 21, 1977 Written by Michael Landon Story by Lawrence M. KonnerContinue reading “The Fighter”

The High Cost of Being Right

The Fire Next Time; or To the Moon, Alice! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The High Cost of Being Right Airdate: November 14, 1977 Written by Don Balluck Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Jonathan and Alice Garvey are on the verge of splitting up until a laughing-gas leak (or something) savesContinue reading “The High Cost of Being Right”

The Aftermath

Solomon Wept; or The Calamitous Return of Cap’m Beadle (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Aftermath Airdate: November 7, 1977 Written by Don Balluck Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Two murderers on the run come to town and hire Mary, who’s revealed to be a Confederate sympathizer, as a servant.Continue reading “The Aftermath”

To Run and Hide

Where the Buffalos Bone; or The Man Who Let Ernie Kovacs Die (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: To Run and Hide Airdate: October 31, 1977 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Doc Baker Kills Another One™ and suffers a nervous breakdown. Meanwhile, Mrs. Oleson begins seeing hisContinue reading “To Run and Hide”

The Wolves

Abandoned Dog-ters; or There is a Lot of Dog Genitalia in This One (a recap by Will Kaiser) EDITOR’S NOTE: This recap is rated 13+ for tasteless observations. Be warned. Title: The Wolves Airdate: October 17, 1977 Written by Lawrence M. Konner Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s a bloodbath when madContinue reading “The Wolves”

The Handyman

Caroline Ingalls in Heat; or Unky Chris (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Handyman Airdate: October 3, 1977 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Ma nearly has an affair with a hunky vagabond until Mary goes berserk and puts a stop to it. (FEATURING A SPECIAL APPEARANCEContinue reading “The Handyman”

“My Ellen”

The Hereditary of Little House on the Prairie Episodes; or Here There Be Busbys (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “My Ellen” [sic] Airdate: September 26, 1977 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Madness and mayhem ensue when Laura accidentally kills yet another Grovester. RECAP: The world is in a frighteningContinue reading ““My Ellen””