“Author! Author!”

I Call Cash On the Bullshit; or “Awful! Awful!” (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Author! Author!” [sic] Airdate: November 26, 1979 Written by Carole and Michael Raschella Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In a shocking twist, Grandma Holbrook suddenly dies! Then, in a boring twist, Charles helps her husband publishContinue reading ““Author! Author!””

“Dance With Me”

Oh Noes!!; or Pa’s Chest is the Perfect Roast-Chicken Color (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Dance With Me” [sic] Airdate: January 22, 1979 Written by Paul Wolff Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Toby Noe is captured and extradited to Walnut Grove, where he falls in love. RECAP: No time for aContinue reading ““Dance With Me””

The Man Inside

La Bohèmoth; or We Should Never Make Unkind Remarks About Anyone (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Man Inside Airdate: October 2, 1978 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A new classmate of Laura’s is ashamed of her father because of his size. RECAP: Oh boy, this one I haveContinue reading “The Man Inside”

“As Long as We’re Together,” Part Two

I’m a Farmer, Not a Fighter; or My Birds Seem More Dainty (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “As Long as We’re Together” [sic], Part Two Airdate: September 18, 1978 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: The Grovester moms start a school. Ma and Pa enjoy Alone Time. Albert commits pettyContinue reading ““As Long as We’re Together,” Part Two”

“Be My Friend”

Creek to Nowhere; or They Wouldn’t Just Give it to Some Rando Jezebel (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Be My Friend” [sic] Airdate: January 30, 1978 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Tortured by her insane dad, a sad girl abandons her baby; but TV’s most meddlesome father/daughter duo intervenes.Continue reading ““Be My Friend””

“I Remember, I Remember”

Caroline Ingalls, Piece of Work; or Did He Make That Out of Rabbit Poop? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “I Remember, I Remember” [sic] Airdate: January 23, 1978 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: On her wedding anniversary, Caroline recalls the days when Charles was played byContinue reading ““I Remember, I Remember””

The Handyman

Caroline Ingalls in Heat; or Unky Chris (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Handyman Airdate: October 3, 1977 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Ma nearly has an affair with a hunky vagabond until Mary goes berserk and puts a stop to it. (FEATURING A SPECIAL APPEARANCEContinue reading “The Handyman”

The Music Box

Desire Begets Punishment; or Head Games (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Music Box Airdate: March 14, 1977 Written by Robert Janes Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie engages in psychological warfare, blackmailing Laura and torturing a girl with a speech impediment. Then Laura is hanged to death. In other words,Continue reading “The Music Box”

“I’ll Ride the Wind”

“‘I’ll Break the Wind’”; or  How Good are You at Milking, Mary? (a recap by Will Kaiser) TITLE: “I’ll Ride the Wind” [sic] AIRDATE: January 10, 1977 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by William F. Claxton EDITOR’S WARNING: This recap is rated 13+ for more tasteless commentary than usual. Reader discretion is advised. (Even better,Continue reading ““I’ll Ride the Wind””

Journey in the Spring, Part One

La La Lansford; or Can You Imagine CHARLES INGALLS is Your Fucking Brother? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Journey in the Spring, Part One Airdate: November 15, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: We meet Charles’s parents, and, like the good Little House characters they are, they immediately goContinue reading “Journey in the Spring, Part One”