“As Long as We’re Together,” Part One

“Oh, Damn!”; In Which Will’s Singing Voice is Revealed (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “As Long as We’re Together” [sic], Part One Airdate: September 11, 1978 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: After moving to Winoka, Carrie begins using profanity and urinating on the ground. Oh, and Anne Ramsey andContinue reading ““As Long as We’re Together,” Part One”

“I’ll Be Waving as You Drive Away,” Part Two

You’re Not the Boss of Me; or Do Not Hasten to Bead Me Adieu (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “I’ll Be Waving as You Drive Away” [sic], Part Two Airdate: March 13, 1978 Written by Carole and Michael Raschella Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Fate takes Mary to a blindContinue reading ““I’ll Be Waving as You Drive Away,” Part Two”

“I Remember, I Remember”

Caroline Ingalls, Piece of Work; or Did He Make That Out of Rabbit Poop? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “I Remember, I Remember” [sic] Airdate: January 23, 1978 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: On her wedding anniversary, Caroline recalls the days when Charles was played byContinue reading ““I Remember, I Remember””

Whisper Country

What the Fuck Country (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Whisper Country Airdate: January 16, 1978 Written by John Hawkins Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Deeply weird even by this show’s standards, this one is a strange tale of witch vs bitch. RECAP: First off, I’m very happy to announce that ourContinue reading “Whisper Country”

“Meet Me at the Fair”

Mehwwy in the Sky With Diamonds; or What Did Fake Irish People Ever Do to Michael Landon? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Meet Me at the Fair” [sic] Airdate: November 28, 1977 Written by Arthur Heinemann Story by Bradley and Ray Berwick and Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL:Continue reading ““Meet Me at the Fair””

The Fighter

The Strongest Smaller Person in Walnut Grove; or You Know, I’ve Never Been With a Black Man Before (a recap by Will Kaiser) EDITOR’S WARNING: This episode contains racist language and images of (barely) covered human penises. Thank you. Title: The Fighter Airdate: November 21, 1977 Written by Michael Landon Story by Lawrence M. KonnerContinue reading “The Fighter”

The High Cost of Being Right

The Fire Next Time; or To the Moon, Alice! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The High Cost of Being Right Airdate: November 14, 1977 Written by Don Balluck Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Jonathan and Alice Garvey are on the verge of splitting up until a laughing-gas leak (or something) savesContinue reading “The High Cost of Being Right”

The Aftermath

Solomon Wept; or The Calamitous Return of Cap’m Beadle (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Aftermath Airdate: November 7, 1977 Written by Don Balluck Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Two murderers on the run come to town and hire Mary, who’s revealed to be a Confederate sympathizer, as a servant.Continue reading “The Aftermath”

To Run and Hide

Where the Buffalos Bone; or The Man Who Let Ernie Kovacs Die (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: To Run and Hide Airdate: October 31, 1977 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Doc Baker Kills Another One™ and suffers a nervous breakdown. Meanwhile, Mrs. Oleson begins seeing hisContinue reading “To Run and Hide”

The Wolves

Abandoned Dog-ters; or There is a Lot of Dog Genitalia in This One (a recap by Will Kaiser) EDITOR’S NOTE: This recap is rated 13+ for tasteless observations. Be warned. Title: The Wolves Airdate: October 17, 1977 Written by Lawrence M. Konner Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s a bloodbath when madContinue reading “The Wolves”