The Angry Heart

Yes, Virginia, Our Grandson is an Asshole; or Hester-Sue Would Rock the Shit Out of This Song (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Angry Heart Airdate: December 17, 1979 Written by Del Reisman Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Therapy Charles has to cure a guy who’s addicted to beating up hisContinue reading “The Angry Heart”

The King is Dead

Milo Meatloaf; or Charles’s Head is Disappearing Into His Hair (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The King is Dead Airdate: November 12, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s a clash of the titans when amateur wrestler Jonathan Garvey turns pro. RECAP: First things first, very sad to hearContinue reading “The King is Dead”

The Return of Mr. Edwards

The California Ibex; or Old Dan Fuck Yourself (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Return of Mr. Edwards Airdate: November 5, 1979 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A beloved comic-relief character returns to this heartwarming family show and immediately attempts suicide. RECAP:  RAJA: You guys have aContinue reading “The Return of Mr. Edwards”

Mortal Mission

Much Ado About Mutton; or Selling Poison Meat to Blind Orphans? What Kind of Show Is This? (a recap by Will Kaiser – Menz Weekend edition) Title: Mortal Mission Airdate: March 12, 1979 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Half the town nearly dies of anthrax, andContinue reading “Mortal Mission”

The Godsister

Far From Heaven; or How Do You Solve a Problem Like Carrie? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Godsister Airdate: December 18, 1978 Written by Don Balluck Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Two Carries? Utter insanity! RECAP: [UPDATE: It’s occurred to me that at no point during this episode did anyContinue reading “The Godsister”

“Here Come the Brides”

Midnight in the Garden of Simms and Beadle; or Le Nozze di Pigaro (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Here Come the Brides” [sic] Airdate: December 5, 1977 Written by John T. Dugan Story by Robert F. Metzler and John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie forgets she’s evil,Continue reading ““Here Come the Brides””

Gold Country

Tales From the Crick; or Just Wait Till Carrie Starts Saying “Cocksucker” (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Gold Country Airdate: April 4, 1977 Written by John Hawkins and B.W. Sandefur Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: The Ingallses and Edwardses travel to Deadwood (!). Whilst in the Black Hills, they encounter muggers,Continue reading “Gold Country”

The Election

You Mush Vote for Mary; or Will the Real Not-Joni Mitchell Please Stand Up? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Election Airdate: March 21, 1977 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A developmentally delayed student gets caught in the crossfire when bullies try to stop Nellie from becomingContinue reading “The Election”

The Gift

The Grifters; or The Wheels of Evil (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Gift Airdate: December 17, 1975 Written by Rocci Chatfield Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura gets entangled in history’s first pyramid scheme, steamrolls Mary, and pretends Caroline is dead. RECAP:  DAGNY: You know, I realized today WalnutContinue reading “The Gift”