The Family Tree

Pin a Heart-Shaped Apron to Your Boobs, You’re Sure to Get a Husband; or Walnut Steamy? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Family Tree Airdate: October 1, 1979 Written by Vincent R. Gutierrez Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When his biological father surfaces, Albert devises a twisted strategy to getContinue reading “The Family Tree”

EXTRA: Alison Arngrim: The Walnut Groovy Interview

After a number of unfortunate scheduling fails, I’m delighted to report we finally connected with Alison Arngrim, who proved to be a spectacularly entertaining and animated interview subject. (You’re shocked, I know.) Enjoy! – WK *** ALISON ARNGRIM: You don’t want, like, the laptop and the headphones? This is fine, right? WILL: Oh no, we’reContinue reading “EXTRA: Alison Arngrim: The Walnut Groovy Interview”

Journey in the Spring, Part One

La La Lansford; or Can You Imagine CHARLES INGALLS is Your Fucking Brother? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Journey in the Spring, Part One Airdate: November 15, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: We meet Charles’s parents, and, like the good Little House characters they are, they immediately goContinue reading “Journey in the Spring, Part One”

Going Home

The High-Waisted Horny Hustle; or You’re the Main Character of the Show, You’re Not Going Anywhere (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Going Home Airdate: March 31, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Charles freaks when a tornado destroys his crops, but yet another Magical Old Man materializes to showContinue reading “Going Home”

The Lord is My Shepherd: Part Two

(Mean) Thoughts and Prayers; or The Parable of the Little Girl, The Mountain, and The A-Borgnine-able Snowman (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Lord is My Shepherd [Part 2] Airdate: December 18, 1974 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Feeling guilty about murdering her baby brother, Laura runs away toContinue reading “The Lord is My Shepherd: Part Two”