“Someone Please Love Me”

She Want That Cookie Real Bad; or At Least She Doesn’t Have to Worry About Internet Brain Rot and AI (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Someone Please Love Me” [sic] Airdate: March 5, 1979 Written by Michael Landon Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In this Chuck-only episode, Charles ignites lust inContinue reading ““Someone Please Love Me””

“As Long as We’re Together,” Part One

“Oh, Damn!”; In Which Will’s Singing Voice is Revealed (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “As Long as We’re Together” [sic], Part One Airdate: September 11, 1978 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: After moving to Winoka, Carrie begins using profanity and urinating on the ground. Oh, and Anne Ramsey andContinue reading ““As Long as We’re Together,” Part One”

Whisper Country

What the Fuck Country (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Whisper Country Airdate: January 16, 1978 Written by John Hawkins Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Deeply weird even by this show’s standards, this one is a strange tale of witch vs bitch. RECAP: First off, I’m very happy to announce that ourContinue reading “Whisper Country”

Freedom Flight

Et Tu, Mustache Man? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Freedom Flight Airdate: December 12, 1977 Written by Ron Chiniquy and Richalene Kelsay Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Some of our beloved Grovesters are revealed as vicious racists when a band of Dakota comes looking for help. RECAP:  WILL: Wanna watch anotherContinue reading “Freedom Flight”

The Fighter

The Strongest Smaller Person in Walnut Grove; or You Know, I’ve Never Been With a Black Man Before (a recap by Will Kaiser) EDITOR’S WARNING: This episode contains racist language and images of (barely) covered human penises. Thank you. Title: The Fighter Airdate: November 21, 1977 Written by Michael Landon Story by Lawrence M. KonnerContinue reading “The Fighter”

The Aftermath

Solomon Wept; or The Calamitous Return of Cap’m Beadle (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Aftermath Airdate: November 7, 1977 Written by Don Balluck Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Two murderers on the run come to town and hire Mary, who’s revealed to be a Confederate sympathizer, as a servant.Continue reading “The Aftermath”

The Music Box

Desire Begets Punishment; or Head Games (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Music Box Airdate: March 14, 1977 Written by Robert Janes Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie engages in psychological warfare, blackmailing Laura and torturing a girl with a speech impediment. Then Laura is hanged to death. In other words,Continue reading “The Music Box”

I─── Kid

EDITOR’S WARNING (HE BEGAN DEFENSIVELY . . .) This recap features semi-fictional characters (at best) who use racist language in the context of a strongly anti-racist storyline and is rated 13+.    Grandpa Stokes is Not Alright; or Life Ain’t Easy for a Boy Named Spotted Eagle (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: I─── Kid Airdate:Continue reading “I─── Kid”

Soldier’s Return

Whip It Sad; or Six Degrees of Granville Whipple (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Soldier’s Return Airdate: March 24, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL:  Almost in time for Mother’s Day (and Fentanyl Awareness Day), we meet Mrs. Whipple’s son Granville, who loses his life toContinue reading “Soldier’s Return”

The Long Road Home

The Biggest Chuck-Hole of Them All; or The Strange Case of Richard Jaeckel and Louis Gossett, Jr. (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Long Road Home Airdate: March 3, 1976 Written by John Hawkins Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Will Charles and Mr. Edwards survive a cross-country trek carrying dangerous blastin’Continue reading “The Long Road Home”