The Halloween Dream

Son of Mustache Man!; or You Give Ugg a Bad Name (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Halloween Dream Airdate: October 29, 1979 Written and directed by Michael Landon EDITOR’S NOTE: Literally everything about this episode is offensive. (Well, almost.) SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In what’s regarded by many as the worst Little HouseContinue reading “The Halloween Dream”

The Family Tree

Pin a Heart-Shaped Apron to Your Boobs, You’re Sure to Get a Husband; or Walnut Steamy? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Family Tree Airdate: October 1, 1979 Written by Vincent R. Gutierrez Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When his biological father surfaces, Albert devises a twisted strategy to getContinue reading “The Family Tree”

The Godsister

Far From Heaven; or How Do You Solve a Problem Like Carrie? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Godsister Airdate: December 18, 1978 Written by Don Balluck Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Two Carries? Utter insanity! RECAP: [UPDATE: It’s occurred to me that at no point during this episode did anyContinue reading “The Godsister”

The Rivals

APPLE BOOBS (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Rivals Airdate: January 9, 1978 Written by John T. Dugan Story by Hindi Brooks and John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Saddened by her lack of, um, “development,” Laura turns to the produce department for help. Meanwhile, Charles and GarveyContinue reading “The Rivals”

“My Ellen”

The Hereditary of Little House on the Prairie Episodes; or Here There Be Busbys (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “My Ellen” [sic] Airdate: September 26, 1977 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Madness and mayhem ensue when Laura accidentally kills yet another Grovester. RECAP: The world is in a frighteningContinue reading ““My Ellen””

The Music Box

Desire Begets Punishment; or Head Games (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Music Box Airdate: March 14, 1977 Written by Robert Janes Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie engages in psychological warfare, blackmailing Laura and torturing a girl with a speech impediment. Then Laura is hanged to death. In other words,Continue reading “The Music Box”

Journey in the Spring, Part One

La La Lansford; or Can You Imagine CHARLES INGALLS is Your Fucking Brother? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Journey in the Spring, Part One Airdate: November 15, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: We meet Charles’s parents, and, like the good Little House characters they are, they immediately goContinue reading “Journey in the Spring, Part One”

The Monster of Walnut Grove

All Work and No Play Makes Nels a Dull Boy; or Sworded Scheme (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Monster of Walnut Grove Airdate: November 1, 1976 Written by John Hawkins Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A Halloween special! Nels loses his marbles and Mrs. Oleson loses her head inContinue reading “The Monster of Walnut Grove”

Soldier’s Return

Whip It Sad; or Six Degrees of Granville Whipple (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Soldier’s Return Airdate: March 24, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL:  Almost in time for Mother’s Day (and Fentanyl Awareness Day), we meet Mrs. Whipple’s son Granville, who loses his life toContinue reading “Soldier’s Return”

A Matter of Faith

Ma-sery (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: A Matter of Faith Airdate: February 4, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s the one where Ma cuts off her leg. RECAP: Of all the BIG CLASSICS, this is one of the biggest, so it’s all hands on deckContinue reading “A Matter of Faith”