Tag Archives: Mary's "Issues"

“I’ll Ride the Wind”

“‘I’ll Break the Wind’”; or  How Good are You at Milking, Mary? (a recap by Will Kaiser) TITLE: “I’ll Ride the Wind” [sic] AIRDATE: January 10, 1977 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by William F. Claxton EDITOR’S WARNING: This recap is rated 13+ for more tasteless commentary than usual. Reader discretion is advised. (Even better,Continue reading ““I’ll Ride the Wind””

The Bully Boys

Nice to Beat You; or What is This, Straw Dogs? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Bully Boys Airdate: December 6, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When a new family comes to town, Mary and Pa are brutalized, and Ma is molested in the street. ButContinue reading “The Bully Boys”

Going Home

The High-Waisted Horny Hustle; or You’re the Main Character of the Show, You’re Not Going Anywhere (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Going Home Airdate: March 31, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Charles freaks when a tornado destroys his crops, but yet another Magical Old Man materializes to showContinue reading “Going Home”

Soldier’s Return

Whip It Sad; or Six Degrees of Granville Whipple (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Soldier’s Return Airdate: March 24, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL:  Almost in time for Mother’s Day (and Fentanyl Awareness Day), we meet Mrs. Whipple’s son Granville, who loses his life toContinue reading “Soldier’s Return”

The Pride of Walnut Grove

The Crochet One; or Is This Rated Thirteen-Plus Because Charles Has Sex With Mrs. Whipple? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Pride of Walnut Grove Airdate: January 28, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Mary is sent to a math competition in Minneapolis, where she experiencesContinue reading “The Pride of Walnut Grove”

Four Eyes

Mary Inglasses; or Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Mary’s Got Four Eyes Four-Eyes Nyah Nyah Four-Eyes Four-Eyes (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Four Eyes Airdate: September 17, 1975 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Stupid Mary returns! In this soft launch of the Mary Goes Blind Saga, Mary hidesContinue reading “Four Eyes”

The Award

Stupid Mary; or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Skip My Final (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Award Airdate: December 11, 1974 Written by Michael Landon Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Stupid Mary almost burns down the barn while studying for a test. Ma freaks out and forbidsContinue reading “The Award”