The Rivals

APPLE BOOBS (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Rivals Airdate: January 9, 1978 Written by John T. Dugan Story by Hindi Brooks and John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Saddened by her lack of, um, “development,” Laura turns to the produce department for help. Meanwhile, Charles and GarveyContinue reading “The Rivals”

“Here Come the Brides”

Midnight in the Garden of Simms and Beadle; or Le Nozze di Pigaro (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Here Come the Brides” [sic] Airdate: December 5, 1977 Written by John T. Dugan Story by Robert F. Metzler and John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie forgets she’s evil,Continue reading ““Here Come the Brides””

The Fighter

The Strongest Smaller Person in Walnut Grove; or You Know, I’ve Never Been With a Black Man Before (a recap by Will Kaiser) EDITOR’S WARNING: This episode contains racist language and images of (barely) covered human penises. Thank you. Title: The Fighter Airdate: November 21, 1977 Written by Michael Landon Story by Lawrence M. KonnerContinue reading “The Fighter”

The Creeper of Walnut Grove

Carri-et the Spy; or Harriet Oleson’s Baadasssss Song (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Creeper of Walnut Grove Airdate: October 24, 1977 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura and Andrew call a truce with Nellie and Willie to solve a fairly obvious mystery. RECAP: FirstContinue reading “The Creeper of Walnut Grove”

The Wolves

Abandoned Dog-ters; or There is a Lot of Dog Genitalia in This One (a recap by Will Kaiser) EDITOR’S NOTE: This recap is rated 13+ for tasteless observations. Be warned. Title: The Wolves Airdate: October 17, 1977 Written by Lawrence M. Konner Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s a bloodbath when madContinue reading “The Wolves”

Castoffs

The She-Hobo; or It’s Dead Jack’s Point of View! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Castoffs Airdate: September 12 September 12, 1977 Written by Tony Kayden Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nels gets drunk, and a plot to drive away a British kook is foiled by The Magic of Walnut Grove! Oh,Continue reading “Castoffs”

The Election

You Mush Vote for Mary; or Will the Real Not-Joni Mitchell Please Stand Up? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Election Airdate: March 21, 1977 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A developmentally delayed student gets caught in the crossfire when bullies try to stop Nellie from becomingContinue reading “The Election”

The Music Box

Desire Begets Punishment; or Head Games (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Music Box Airdate: March 14, 1977 Written by Robert Janes Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie engages in psychological warfare, blackmailing Laura and torturing a girl with a speech impediment. Then Laura is hanged to death. In other words,Continue reading “The Music Box”

Little Women

Bonnets Expand Toward the Sun; or A Gelfling Alive? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Little Women Airdate: January 24, 1977 Written by Dale Eunson and B.W. Sandefur Story by Dale Eunson Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie organizes a scene from Little Women as a school play, but an actor’sContinue reading “Little Women”

The Bully Boys

Nice to Beat You; or What is This, Straw Dogs? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Bully Boys Airdate: December 6, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When a new family comes to town, Mary and Pa are brutalized, and Ma is molested in the street. ButContinue reading “The Bully Boys”