The Race

Half This Episode is Fat-Shaming Twelve-Year-Olds (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Race Airdate: October 11, 1976 Written by John V. Hanrahan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie and Laura are the only two contestants in an annual Hero Township-wide horse race, if you can believe that. RECAP: Bummer ofContinue reading “The Race”

Bunny

Fucking Bunny, Man; or Would They Really Hang a Child on This Show? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Bunny Airdate: October 4, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Animal abuse escalates the Laura/Nellie war. RECAP: Fucking “Bunny,” man! All hands on deck, let’s do it! We open with aContinue reading “Bunny”

The Runaway Caboose

Throw Carl From the Train!; or Throw Mary From the Train (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Runaway Caboose Airdate: February 11, 1976 Written by John Hawkins Story by Ernie Durham Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A runaway caboose. RECAP:  DAGNY: While you were gone we watched two of theContinue reading “The Runaway Caboose”

The Pride of Walnut Grove

The Crochet One; or Is This Rated Thirteen-Plus Because Charles Has Sex With Mrs. Whipple? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Pride of Walnut Grove Airdate: January 28, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Mary is sent to a math competition in Minneapolis, where she experiencesContinue reading “The Pride of Walnut Grove”

The Gift

The Grifters; or The Wheels of Evil (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Gift Airdate: December 17, 1975 Written by Rocci Chatfield Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura gets entangled in history’s first pyramid scheme, steamrolls Mary, and pretends Caroline is dead. RECAP:  DAGNY: You know, I realized today WalnutContinue reading “The Gift”

The Spring Dance

The Love of Willie Oleson; or She’s My Cherry Pie (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Spring Dance Airdate: October 29, 1975 Written by Gerry Day Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Laura fakes a love affair with Willie to get a boy’s attention. Meanwhile, Grace Snider does the exact sameContinue reading “The Spring Dance”

In the Big Inning

The Bad News Millers/Merchants/Mulligans/Heavenly Hosts – In Which the Studly Bearded Stranger’s True Identity is Finally Revealed! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: In the Big Inning Airdate: October 1, 1975 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A baseball game. RECAP: This strange episode was likely a tie-in toContinue reading “In the Big Inning”

Four Eyes

Mary Inglasses; or Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Mary’s Got Four Eyes Four-Eyes Nyah Nyah Four-Eyes Four-Eyes (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Four Eyes Airdate: September 17, 1975 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Stupid Mary returns! In this soft launch of the Mary Goes Blind Saga, Mary hidesContinue reading “Four Eyes”

Christmas at Plum Creek

“Do you see what the tree’s decorated with?” “Yah. Sexcorn.” (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Christmas at Plum Creek Airdate: December 25, 1974 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: The Ingallses all get each other stupid Christmas presents. Laura sells Bunny to Nellie to buy Ma aContinue reading “Christmas at Plum Creek”

School Mom

I Wish I Was Dumb Abel! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: School Mom Airdate: November 13, 1974 Written by Ward Hawkins Story by Jean Rouverol Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY: Miss Beadle breaks every bone in her body, so Ma subs for her at the school. Possibly better known as “Dumb Abel.” RECAP:Continue reading “School Mom”