Quarantine

A Nightmare in Elmsville; or How Many Poison-Ivy Pandemics Can One Town Bear? (a recap by Will Kaiser) TITLE: Quarantine AIRDATE: January 17, 1977 Written by John Hawkins Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Southwest Minnesota reels from a twin outbreak of mountain fever and poison ivy. RECAP: We watched this episode outContinue reading “Quarantine”

“I’ll Ride the Wind”

“‘I’ll Break the Wind’”; or  How Good are You at Milking, Mary? (a recap by Will Kaiser) TITLE: “I’ll Ride the Wind” [sic] AIRDATE: January 10, 1977 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by William F. Claxton EDITOR’S WARNING: This recap is rated 13+ for more tasteless commentary than usual. Reader discretion is advised. (Even better,Continue reading ““I’ll Ride the Wind””

Blizzard

You Can Tell There’s Going to Be a Big Body Count in This One; or My Smurf is Coming Loose! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Blizzard Airdate: January 3, 1976 Written by Paul W. Cooper Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: On Christmas Eve, Miss Beadle finally snaps and attempts toContinue reading “Blizzard”

The Hunters

Dead Horses are the Dead Horse of This Show; or Who Ordered a Michael Landon on the Rocks? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Hunters Airdate: December 20, 1976 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by Michael Landon EDITOR’S NOTE: Our family watched this episode before our interview with Melissa Gilbert, so if you haven’tContinue reading “The Hunters”

Journey in the Spring, Part Two

“The Worst Thing I’ve Ever Seen”: The Life, Times and Appalling Death of Bunny the Horse (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Journey in the Spring, Part Two Airdate: November 22, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: In what one of our reviewers described as “the worst thing I’ve everContinue reading “Journey in the Spring, Part Two”

Journey in the Spring, Part One

La La Lansford; or Can You Imagine CHARLES INGALLS is Your Fucking Brother? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Journey in the Spring, Part One Airdate: November 15, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: We meet Charles’s parents, and, like the good Little House characters they are, they immediately goContinue reading “Journey in the Spring, Part One”

Little Girl Lost

Caaaaarrriiiiiieeeeeeeee!; or She’s Fine, She Can Barely Speak, Same as Always (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Little Girl Lost Airdate: October 18, 1976 Written by Paul W. Cooper Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s the one where Carrie falls in the well. Meanwhile, Mr. Hanson battles an old enemy for theContinue reading “Little Girl Lost”

Bunny

Fucking Bunny, Man; or Would They Really Hang a Child on This Show? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Bunny Airdate: October 4, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Animal abuse escalates the Laura/Nellie war. RECAP: Fucking “Bunny,” man! All hands on deck, let’s do it! We open with aContinue reading “Bunny”

The Collection

The Murder of Mary Ingalls; or He’s Getting Ten Years of Songs Out of This One Episode (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Collection Airdate: September 27, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Aldi becomes the victim of kidnapping and identity theft when he encounters some unethicalContinue reading “The Collection”

Going Home

The High-Waisted Horny Hustle; or You’re the Main Character of the Show, You’re Not Going Anywhere (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Going Home Airdate: March 31, 1976 Written and directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Charles freaks when a tornado destroys his crops, but yet another Magical Old Man materializes to showContinue reading “Going Home”