“Dance With Me”

Oh Noes!!; or Pa’s Chest is the Perfect Roast-Chicken Color (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: “Dance With Me” [sic] Airdate: January 22, 1979 Written by Paul Wolff Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Toby Noe is captured and extradited to Walnut Grove, where he falls in love. RECAP: No time for aContinue reading ““Dance With Me””

Harriet’s Happenings

If I Have to Create Stories, Then That’s What I’m Gonna Do; or I Don’t Care If It’s Not True, I Believe It! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Harriet’s Happenings Airdate: October 30, 1978 Written by John T. Dugan Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: An amoral editor gives Mrs. OlesonContinue reading “Harriet’s Happenings”

A Most Precious Gift

The Birds and The Beads; or Mistress Mary, She-Wolf of Hero Township (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: A Most Precious Gift Airdate: February 27, 1978 Written by Carole and Michael Raschella  Directed by Michael Landon SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Ma becomes pregnant, but quickly spirals into prenatal depression and paranoia. Meanwhile, the Bead hasContinue reading “A Most Precious Gift”

The Inheritance

Crap on the Barrel; or Sometimes It Doesn’t Pay to Be an Organ Donor (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Inheritance Airdate: February 6, 1978 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Charles and Caroline stupidly spend an unexpected windfall before they even receive it. RECAP: I hateContinue reading “The Inheritance”

The Bully Boys

Nice to Beat You; or What is This, Straw Dogs? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Bully Boys Airdate: December 6, 1976 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: When a new family comes to town, Mary and Pa are brutalized, and Ma is molested in the street. ButContinue reading “The Bully Boys”

The Pride of Walnut Grove

The Crochet One; or Is This Rated Thirteen-Plus Because Charles Has Sex With Mrs. Whipple? (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Pride of Walnut Grove Airdate: January 28, 1976 Written by Arthur Heinemann Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Mary is sent to a math competition in Minneapolis, where she experiencesContinue reading “The Pride of Walnut Grove”

The Talking Machine

She Humiliated Me . . . With Science! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: The Talking Machine Airdate: January 14, 1976 Written by Harold Swanton Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Nellie is bested by Laura in matters of love, so she plans a humiliation far exceeding anything else she’s done so far.Continue reading “The Talking Machine”

In the Big Inning

The Bad News Millers/Merchants/Mulligans/Heavenly Hosts – In Which the Studly Bearded Stranger’s True Identity is Finally Revealed! (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: In the Big Inning Airdate: October 1, 1975 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: A baseball game. RECAP: This strange episode was likely a tie-in toContinue reading “In the Big Inning”

Ebenezer Sprague

Blah Humbug (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Ebenezer Sprague Airdate: September 24, 1975 Written by Hindi Brooks Directed by Victor French SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: It’s yet another old-man best friend for Laura when she teaches an asshole to love. RECAP: We open on Mr. Nelson the Gray-Haired Dude driving down the thoroughfare, accompanied byContinue reading “Ebenezer Sprague”

Four Eyes

Mary Inglasses; or Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Four-Eyes Mary’s Got Four Eyes Four-Eyes Nyah Nyah Four-Eyes Four-Eyes (a recap by Will Kaiser) Title: Four Eyes Airdate: September 17, 1975 Written by B.W. Sandefur Directed by William F. Claxton SUMMARY IN A NUTSHELL: Stupid Mary returns! In this soft launch of the Mary Goes Blind Saga, Mary hidesContinue reading “Four Eyes”